Stoic Acceptance of Grief and Non-Personal Creations

Key Quotes

"One of the most remarkable and revealing criticisms of Marcus Aurelius's Meditations is that it's repetitive. Marcus talks about death a lot, talks about fame a lot, talks about the weight of being the leader of an empire a lot. So yeah, some people ask, why is it so repetitive? To which the reply is pretty obvious: that's because the book is not for you."

This quote highlights a common misunderstanding of Marcus Aurelius's Meditations. The author explains that the repetitive nature of the text is not a flaw but a feature, indicating it was a personal work for Marcus himself, not intended for a general audience. This perspective suggests that appreciating the work requires understanding its original context and purpose.

"We have this experience even at Daily Stoic. People will sometimes complain about a video we've done. They'd say, 'similar to something we've done in the past,' or 'that people ought to just read the original Stoics,' as if everyone in the world saw the first video we did and as if everyone in the world is as comfortable reading an ancient text as they are not."

The author uses this example to illustrate the broader point that not everything is created for everyone. They explain that complaints about content being repetitive or not accessible enough often stem from an assumption that the creator's audience is monolithic. The author argues that creators often have specific audiences in mind, and it's unrealistic to expect universal appeal or understanding.

"The sooner you realize that you are not the center of the universe or the intended recipient of everything, the more understanding you can be, the less judgment you'll feel required to have, and you can appreciate things for what they are--a work of art or a product that was made for the audience it was intended for, whether that be a certain demographic or the emperor himself."

This quote encapsulates the core message about shifting one's perspective away from egocentrism. The author suggests that by recognizing that the world does not revolve around us, we can foster greater empathy and reduce our tendency to judge. This understanding allows for a more objective appreciation of creations, acknowledging their specific intended purpose and audience.

"It's better to conquer grief, he says, than to deceive it. We've all lost people we're close to... and while we were suffering from our grief, some well-meaning person did their best to take our mind off it or make us think about something else for a couple of hours. However kind these gestures are, they are misguided."

The author introduces Seneca's perspective on grief, contrasting the Stoic approach with common, well-intentioned but ultimately unhelpful attempts to distract from pain. Seneca argues that true resolution comes from confronting and processing grief, rather than avoiding it through deception or distraction. This highlights the Stoic emphasis on facing difficult emotions directly.

"The Stoics are stereotyped as suppressing their emotions, but their philosophy was actually intended to teach us to face, to process, and deal with emotions immediately instead of running from them. Tempting as it is to deceive yourself or hide from a powerful emotion like grief by telling yourself and other people that you're fine, awareness and understanding are better."

This quote directly addresses a common misconception about Stoicism. The author clarifies that Stoic philosophy is not about emotional suppression but about actively engaging with and understanding emotions. They emphasize that facing emotions, even painful ones like grief, leads to better long-term outcomes than attempting to hide from them.

"Marcus isn't different than you and I. He's not this magical robot, but he was someone who put in the work to deal with, to think through, to talk about his emotions. I just, I hate the stereotype of the Stoics as being unfeeling. They were feeling, they just tried not to be overwhelmed, overcome, paralyzed by those feelings and part of the way they did it was by working on them."

The author uses Marcus Aurelius as an example to humanize the Stoic approach to emotions. They argue against the stereotype of Stoics as emotionless by explaining that Marcus, despite his position, experienced profound grief and actively worked through his emotions. The author stresses that Stoicism involves conscious effort to manage, rather than deny, feelings to prevent them from becoming paralyzing.