Navigating Long-Term Unemployment: Trauma, Agency, and Relationships

Key Quotes

"Dez Valdez is a licensed clinical social worker and a financial therapist she says unemployment becomes not just a financial crisis it affects our mental health our identity our nervous system and our relationships and so many people can experience a mix of grief fear self blame shame and a lot of uncertainty and our culture really ties so much of our worth to productivity and employment when our job disappears we may feel like our value disappears too and our identity in this moment when you're feeling the ache that cannot be named it's more important than ever to take care of your mental health"

Dev Valdez, a licensed clinical social worker and financial therapist, explains that unemployment extends beyond financial hardship to impact mental health, identity, and relationships. Valdez highlights that societal emphasis on productivity can lead individuals to feel a loss of worth when their job disappears. She stresses the critical importance of prioritizing mental health during such times.

"having an experience of long term unemployment can really activate a trauma and scarcity response so again when our when our income vanishes our nervous system can go into what we know as freeze fight flight or fawn"

Dev Valdez explains that long-term unemployment can trigger a trauma and scarcity response in the nervous system. Valdez identifies four primary responses: freeze, fight, flight, and fawn. These are presented not as character flaws but as human stress responses to difficult situations like prolonged joblessness.

"takeaway two if you're unemployed try to maintain as much routine as possible whether you liked your job or not it probably gave you some normalcy you knew okay i'm going to be at this place every weekday from say 9 to 5 and see these people and now you don't have that so how can you fill your time with activities you enjoy and do repeatedly and with responsibilities that remind you of how capable you are"

This takeaway from Dev Valdez emphasizes the importance of maintaining routines during unemployment to provide a sense of normalcy and stability. Valdez suggests filling time with enjoyable activities and responsibilities that reinforce a sense of capability. This structured approach can help counteract the disruption caused by job loss.

"takeaway three as you look for new jobs remember that rejection is not a reflection of your value as a person there are often external factors like how your industry is doing maybe there've been a lot of layoffs and ultimately that may lead you down another career path but while you're in this moment it helps to remember that there's a lot going on here also do things that remind you of what you're good at and remember you're allowed to experience joy and have fun regardless of whether you have a job you're still a person"

Dev Valdez advises that job rejection should not be interpreted as a personal failing, as external factors like industry conditions often play a significant role. Valdez encourages individuals to engage in activities that highlight their strengths and to remember that experiencing joy and fun is permissible even while unemployed. She asserts that a person's worth is not solely tied to their employment status.

"takeaway four if you're in between jobs you will be feeling a lot of things but don't forget to check in on your partner your family or anyone you share a life with they're having their own experience with this if it feels safe share your feelings with them and ask them about theirs and consider scheduling a weekly update so you don't have to talk about your unemployment all the time"

Dev Valdez stresses the importance of communication within relationships during unemployment, urging individuals to check in with partners and family members. Valdez suggests sharing feelings and asking about their experiences, proposing scheduled weekly updates to manage conversations about unemployment. This approach aims to reduce shame and foster connection.

"takeaway five if you love someone who's unemployed be honest with them about your feelings but also consider how you say things try to avoid language like why haven't you done this or why haven't you show them that you're interested in their experience with questions like do you want advice right now or do you just want me to listen also you'll need to take care of your mental health during this time for both of you"

Dev Valdez advises those supporting an unemployed loved one to be honest about their own feelings while being mindful of their language. Valdez recommends asking open-ended questions like "Do you want advice right now or do you just want me to listen?" to show genuine interest. She also emphasizes the necessity for both the unemployed individual and their support system to prioritize their mental health.