Rewiring Reward Systems: Building a Sober Life Beyond Alcohol

Key Quotes

"alcohol is everywhere in our culture think about how many bars and liquor stores are in your city or town how many ads you see on social media and on tv how many times your favorite character on your favorite show pours themselves a nice glass of bourbon or sips an ice cold beer understandably then it's easy to forget that alcohol is really not good for us drinking increases your risk of certain types of cancers and other chronic diseases in fact the world health organization says there's no safe amount of alcohol to drink in the short term drinking can also give you hangovers interrupt your sleep drain your wallet and sometimes hurt your relationships"

The speaker highlights the pervasive presence of alcohol in society and its potential negative health and personal consequences. This quote establishes the context for considering a break from drinking by outlining the widespread normalization of alcohol consumption alongside its documented risks. The speaker notes that the World Health Organization has stated there is no safe level of alcohol consumption.

"alcohol is not the only way to feel good this message comes from capital one say hello to stress free subscription management easily track block or cancel recurring charges right from the capital one mobile app simple as that learn more at capitalone com subscriptions terms and conditions apply this message comes from apple card apple card members can earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases wherever they shop this means you could be earning daily cash on just about anything like a slice of pizza or a latte from the corner coffee shop apply for apple card in the wallet app to see your credit limit offer in minutes subject to credit approval apple card issued by goldman sachs bank usa salt lake city branch terms and more at applecard com this message comes from memorial sloan kettering cancer center at memorial sloan kettering cancer center they know that a cancer diagnosis touches more than one life it touches entire families make a gift to msk in honor or in memory of someone you love your donation fuels groundbreaking research and compassionate care for patients and their families all over the world honor their legacy give hope to others your impact can be doubled for a limited time donate now at msk org honor 2x before we get back to the episode i want to tell you about a special newsletter series we're offering here at life kit it's about how to participate in dry january when you sign up you'll get a weekly email to help you through your break from alcohol we'll cover everything from how to deal with uncomfortable questions like why aren't you drinking to how to make tasty alcohol free drinks you can sign up at npr org dryjanuary and you can also find the link in the description for this episode casey tell me about your drinking origin story when did you first start drinking and what made you stop"

The speaker suggests that feeling good is achievable through means other than alcohol. This quote introduces the idea that alternative sources of pleasure and well-being exist, which is crucial for individuals considering reducing or eliminating alcohol consumption. The speaker, Casey Davidson, is about to share her personal journey with drinking.

"i mean i started drinking a couple times in high school but not a ton and then i went to college and i loved it but got very used to having nights i didn't completely remember having really bad hangovers and thinking that as long as you could go to school and get a's and succeed it was all good it was you know the definition of a really good time and so i was always a drinker after that i tried to do everything i could to keep it in my life you know every rule i could make about i only drank two drinks a night or only three days a week or only on the weekends and it never worked for very long and i found that just not drinking was so much easier than trying to keep it in my life and i felt so much better that after a period of time i didn't want to go back"

Casey Davidson explains her early drinking habits and the realization that controlling her alcohol intake was more difficult than abstaining entirely. Davidson's narrative illustrates a common struggle with moderation, where attempts to set limits proved ineffective. She found that complete abstinence led to a better overall feeling and a lack of desire to return to drinking.

"you will connect with people more deeply you will get to know yourself better you will find other strategies to relax so i always think that it's it's a growth opportunity to figure out who you are to be more confident in who you are and to navigate life without a substance that sort of turns off your mind"

The speaker posits that life without alcohol offers enhanced personal growth and deeper connections. Davidson frames abstaining from alcohol not as a loss, but as an opportunity for self-discovery, increased confidence, and more meaningful interactions. She suggests that alcohol can inhibit genuine self-awareness and connection by numbing the mind.

"i recommend a 100 day break from alcohol to really institute the habit of not drinking and experience ups and downs in your life and work stress and celebrations and date nights without alcohol for it to become your new normal that said i love dry january i love sober october because it normalizes the idea of taking a break from drinking but if you're just doing a 30 day break the danger is that in the first two weeks the withdrawal from alcohol is real even if you don't drink a ton your sleep will be interrupted you will be tired you'll have less energy once you get past that you start feeling much better you actually start feeling more joy and more emotionally stable and more excited about life and sober sleep is fantastic but if you're just doing a month you tend to spend the first two weeks not feeling great feeling irritated and then the next two weeks you're basically counting down to drinking as your reward so you never sort of rewire your reward system to expand to other ways of relaxing or finding joy"

Casey Davidson advocates for a 100-day break from alcohol to establish new habits and truly integrate an alcohol-free lifestyle. Davidson explains that shorter breaks, like 30 days, may not be sufficient for rewiring one's reward system, as the initial withdrawal period can be uncomfortable, and the end of the break may be anticipated as a reward. She believes a longer period allows for experiencing life's challenges and joys without alcohol, making it the new norm.

"first thing that you can do is if someone tells you that they're not drinking tonight or taking a break from alcohol don't ask them why they're not drinking don't encourage them to just have one or say oh but i thought we were going to you know have a really fun time tonight implying that you won't because they're not drinking the other thing you can do is have non alcoholic options on hand um my good friends who were my biggest drinking friends for years for years whenever i go over to their place now they have my favorite non alcoholic beer on hand and they're like hey don't worry i've got a six pack of what you love and it's really kind and inclusive and incredible"

The speaker outlines supportive actions friends can take for individuals abstaining from alcohol. Davidson emphasizes that genuine support involves respecting the decision not to drink without questioning it and actively providing non-alcoholic beverage options. This demonstrates how friends can create an inclusive environment that acknowledges and accommodates sober