Consistent Daily Habits Foster Success Over Grand Resolutions

Key Quotes

"The goal with urge surfing is to learn how to get on the board of the urge ride it notice that it increases over time and stay on it without giving in but it's not a willful staying on it's actually paying attention to the sensation in your body of the urge and then noticing it come back down again without acting."

Diana Hill, a clinical psychologist, explains that "urge surfing" involves acknowledging and observing the physical sensation of an urge, such as the desire to check one's phone. Hill suggests riding out the urge without acting on it, focusing on the bodily sensations and noticing when the urge subsides. This technique aims to build mindfulness and reduce impulsive behavior.

"If you have credit card debt and you're struggling to pay it you can actually call your credit card company and tell them and they can offer you what's called a forbearance plan or a hardship plan which is some help in the short term they can pause or lower your minimum payments -- waive late fees lower your interest rate while you get back on your feet."

Yanelli Espinal, a financial educator, advises that individuals struggling with credit card debt should contact their credit card company directly. Espinal highlights that companies can offer forbearance or hardship plans, which may include pausing or reducing minimum payments, waiving late fees, or lowering interest rates. This proactive communication can provide short-term relief and help individuals manage their debt.

"When you're deciding what funds to invest your money in say in a retirement account or a brokerage account you want to pay really close attention to fees and you'll see this in the expense ratio line of your fund profile a 1% fee might sound low but it can add up over time and really cut into your returns so instead you want to look for funds that have fees that are more like 0.05% or even zero and that'll be something like an index fund or a passively managed ETF."

The podcast episode emphasizes the importance of scrutinizing fees when investing, particularly in retirement or brokerage accounts. The speaker points out that even a seemingly small 1% fee can significantly reduce investment returns over time. The advice is to seek out funds with much lower expense ratios, such as 0.05% or zero, often found in index funds or passively managed ETFs.

"Start a community dinner... pick a day and stick to it whether it's every monday or the first friday of the month something like that pick a location and stick to it and also don't feel like you need to cook really fancy meals and she also shares this idea about making the ritual holy and that doesn't necessarily mean religious but sacred by making it a regular effort and ritualizing it."

Chef Samine Nosrat suggests initiating a "community dinner" as a way to foster connection and ritual. Nosrat recommends establishing a consistent schedule and location for these dinners, emphasizing that elaborate meals are not necessary. The core idea is to make the gathering a regular, sacred effort through consistent ritualization.

"When you're supporting a friend or a loved one through cancer or any other illness remember that you don't have to be the person who makes this all better for them or who offers them that perfect pearl of wisdom when you go to talk to them it's really about listening and being with them it's not about pushing a certain agenda or trying to fix anything."

Deborah Jarvis, a hospital chaplain and breast cancer survivor, advises that supporting someone through a serious illness is primarily about presence and listening, not about providing solutions or perfect advice. Jarvis stresses that the focus should be on being with the person and understanding their current state, rather than attempting to "fix" their situation or push an agenda. This approach prioritizes empathy and companionship.

"I would say something kind of general and innocuous like hey so where are you with all this today and then just wait and they may give you an answer and then I would say wait a little more and then the real answer might come out yeah you may not always know what to say to your friend but curiosity is a good start."

Deborah Jarvis suggests that when interacting with someone facing a serious illness, starting with a general, open-ended question like "Where are you with all this today?" can be effective. Jarvis explains that after asking such a question, it is important to wait patiently, as the initial response may be superficial, and a deeper, more honest answer might emerge with time. This approach uses curiosity to guide the conversation and allow the person to share what they are comfortable with.