The Power of Giving: Overcoming Biases for Personal and Societal Well-being

The Happiness Lab: Getting Unstuck · December 02, 2025 · Listen to Original Episode →

Original Title: How to Experience the Joy of Giving Right Now

TL;DR

Small acts of kindness, like returning a lost passport or offering a word of encouragement, can have profound, long-lasting positive ripple effects on recipients, often shaping their life trajectories and inspiring future generosity.
The psychological power of giving is significantly underestimated, with individuals often failing to anticipate the substantial happiness boost derived from altruistic actions, leading to procrastination on charitable impulses.
Experiencing "moral elevation" from witnessing extraordinary kindness or courage cracks open one's imagination about personal capabilities, enriching one's view of humanity and fostering a more optimistic perspective.
Giving directly to those in need, without judgment or conditions, bypasses cognitive biases that assume recipients lack judgment, empowering them to best address their own circumstances and ambitions.
The "hot state" of gratitude and reciprocity, experienced immediately after a positive event, is crucial for motivating charitable giving; delaying action allows these feelings to decay, reducing the likelihood of follow-through.
Social accountability and concrete planning, such as setting calendar alerts or enlisting a friend for follow-up, are effective strategies to overcome procrastination and ensure follow-through on intentions to give.

Deep Dive

The science of giving demonstrates that charitable acts significantly boost personal happiness, yet individuals often underestimate this effect and procrastinate on donating. This episode of The Happiness Lab explores the psychological power of generosity, revealing that acting on charitable impulses, especially when feeling gratitude, leads to disproportionately positive returns for both the giver and receiver, fostering a more trusting and connected society.

The core argument is that while our minds can betray us regarding what makes us happy, they also possess a powerful capacity for altruism and connection that we frequently overlook. This is illustrated through personal anecdotes and scientific insights: Tim Harford recounts receiving his lost passport from strangers who sought no reward, highlighting a high-trust society often masked by suspicion. Economist Katie Milkman clarifies that economics doesn't preclude altruism, suggesting our models often simplify by neglecting it. This distrustful mindset, however, hinders charitable giving, as people doubt recipients' ability to use funds wisely. In contrast, Give Directly's direct cash transfer model operates on the principle that those in need are best equipped to improve their own lives, challenging the notion that aid recipients lack judgment.

The psychological benefit of giving is profound, creating "moral elevation" and inspiring kindness. Maya Shankar shares how a childhood act of advocacy by a peer transformed her self-perception and later enabled her to pay that kindness forward. Avery Miller's story powerfully illustrates the lasting impact of a simple encouraging scribbled note from Dr. Laurie Santos, which inspired her to pursue aerospace engineering, demonstrating that small gestures can have multi-generational ripple effects. These instances underscore that acts of kindness, even seemingly insignificant ones, can foster profound personal healing, career paths, and a more optimistic worldview, counteracting societal anxieties and negative biases.

However, a significant barrier to realizing these benefits is procrastination and forgetfulness. Katie Milkman explains that motivation naturally waxes and wanes; capitalizing on "hot states" of gratitude or charitable impulse is crucial. The decay of these positive feelings means delaying action diminishes the likelihood of follow-through and the associated happiness boost. Social accountability and reminders, such as scheduling calendar alerts or enlisting friends for follow-up, are effective strategies to overcome this procrastination. The underlying message is that engaging in acts of generosity offers a potent, accessible, and sustainable path to personal well-being, a truth often obscured by our own cognitive biases but readily accessible through conscious effort and action.

Action Items

Audit personal giving habits: Track 5-10 instances of missed opportunities to offer small acts of kindness or financial support to assess personal biases and identify areas for improvement.
Implement a "giving buffer": Carry a small amount of cash (e.g., $10-20) to immediately address requests for assistance, reducing cognitive load and fostering open interactions.
Schedule gratitude check-ins: Set recurring calendar reminders (e.g., weekly) to express gratitude to 2-3 individuals who have positively impacted your life or work.
Create a "kindness observation" practice: Actively look for and note 3-5 instances of kindness from others daily to reinforce positive perceptions of humanity and foster moral elevation.

Key Quotes

"The research shows we're usually not the best predictors of who will actually make us the happiest as we often say on the happiness lab our minds lie to us about all kinds of stuff and that definitely includes the kinds of things we need to be happy in a relationship."

Dr. Laurie Santos argues that our own minds are unreliable when it comes to predicting what will truly make us happy, especially in relationships. This suggests that we should approach our own desires and assumptions about happiness with a degree of skepticism.

"Giving Tuesday is the global holiday of charitable giving it falls right in the midst of our shopping frenzy a day that's not about commerce but compassion."

Dr. Laurie Santos highlights Giving Tuesday as a deliberate counterpoint to commercial holidays, emphasizing its focus on compassion and charitable acts. This framing positions giving as an intentional choice separate from consumerism.

"I realized that this suspicion which with which i'd been viewing everybody had been so much the opposite of how these guys had actually behaved i mean i would have been even more grateful if i'd had a moment to realize they even had a problem because if i had been stuck in cameroon without my passport that's a big problem that's going to cause me a lot of headaches but they had solved the problem before i even realized they'd solved the problem they had completely defied my rather uncharitable expectations of the people of cameroon and they'd driven off into the sunset without even waiting for a thank you."

Tim Harford recounts an experience where individuals acted with unexpected kindness and integrity, returning his lost passport without seeking reward. This story challenges his initial suspicions and demonstrates how people can defy negative expectations through selfless actions.

"We're sort of trained to believe that if somebody really needs a handout that must be because they lack judgment that they have made many poor decisions in the past otherwise they wouldn't need a handout but in somewhere like cameroon it's definitely not true there are lots and lots of people in really difficult situations in many countries in the world and absolutely not because of any bad decisions that they themselves have made so i think we need to shake off this idea that if someone needs if someone needs a handout then by definition they can't be trusted with the handout we we've got a kind of we've got to break out of that because that's just nonsense."

Dr. Laurie Santos critiques the common assumption that individuals needing assistance must have made poor decisions, asserting this is untrue for many facing difficult circumstances. She argues against the notion that needing help equates to lacking judgment or trustworthiness.

"I had no clue i had absolutely no clue that this is what i needed as much as i was sitting here budgeting like how much can i realistically afford to bid on this dog i was then thinking about my life is busy i can't have a dog right now like who's going to watch the dog for me when i have to travel there were all these reasons why i also couldn't have one and then the universe said this is what you need and gave it to me and guess what i figured it out."

Jr Martinez reflects on receiving a dog unexpectedly, realizing later how much he needed the companionship and support it provided. He highlights how external circumstances can provide what is truly needed, even when one is not consciously aware of it or believes it is not feasible.

"The fact that someone who speaks to john green thinks i'm cool is possibly the coolest thing ever i'm sure he would think you're cool too but i mean it's just like you just have these short interactions in life where you don't necessarily realize how much you're affecting people and i think if you can have those interactions in a way that are like positive or encouraging we just like don't know the ripple effect of the kind of thing that we can do to other people and so it was just such a reminder of like oh my gosh i can have this like incredibly long standing like you know 20 year ish positive effect and i might not be realizing i could do that right now."

Avery Miller expresses surprise at the long-term impact of a brief, encouraging interaction with Dr. Laurie Santos, realizing how a small positive gesture can create a significant and lasting effect. She emphasizes that we often underestimate the profound ripple effects our encouraging actions can have on others.

Resources

External Resources

Books

"Moneyball" by Michael Lewis - Mentioned as a work by Michael Lewis.
"The Blind Side" by Michael Lewis - Mentioned as a work by Michael Lewis.

Articles & Papers

"How to Experience the Joy of Giving Right Now" (The Happiness Lab) - Mentioned as the title of the podcast episode.

People

Dr. Laurie Santos - Host of The Happiness Lab podcast, discussed for her work on happiness and primate research.
Tim Harford - Host of Cautionary Tales podcast, shared a personal story about receiving his passport back.
John Green - Author and YouTube star, collaborated on a campaign with Give Directly to fight tuberculosis.
Margaret - A recipient of a cash donation through Give Directly, used funds for tuberculosis treatment.
J.R. Martinez - Army veteran, TV actor, Dancing with the Stars champion, and host of the Medal of Honor podcast, shared a story about receiving a puppy.
Romeo - A puppy gifted to J.R. Martinez, served as a companion and helped him heal.
Michael Lewis - Best-selling author and host of the podcast Against the Rules, shared a strategy for giving money to people on the streets.
Maya Shankar - Host of the podcast A Slight Change of Plans, shared a story about receiving kindness as a child and paying it forward.
Adrian - A childhood friend who stood up for Maya Shankar when she was being bullied.
Noah - A fellow student at Yale who was bullied, received support from Maya Shankar.
Katy Milkman - Professor at the Wharton School, host of the podcast Choiceology, and author of "How to Change," discussed research on giving and behavioral science.
Amanda Chuan - Professor at Michigan State University, conducted research on giving and hospital donation requests.
Hengchen Dai - Colleague of Katy Milkman, researched the "fresh start effect."
Avery Miller - An individual who was inspired to pursue aerospace engineering after meeting Dr. Laurie Santos at the World Science Festival.
Rain Wilson - Actor and podcaster, mentioned as a future guest on The Happiness Lab.

Organizations & Institutions

Hidden Brain - Podcast mentioned as a collaborator for the #PodsFightPoverty campaign.
Revisionist History - Podcast mentioned as a collaborator for the #PodsFightPoverty campaign.
Give Directly - Nonprofit organization that provides cash transfers to people in extreme poverty, featured in the #PodsFightPoverty campaign.
Giving Multiplier - Organization providing matching donations for the #PodsFightPoverty campaign.
Bumble - Dating app, mentioned as a sponsor and for its features that facilitate connection.
Chase for Business - Provider of business credit cards, mentioned as a sponsor.
Amica Insurance - Mutual insurance company, mentioned as a sponsor.
Pushkin Industries - Podcast network, mentioned in relation to The Happiness Lab.
Pro Football Focus (PFF) - Mentioned in relation to sports analytics.
New England Patriots - Professional football team, mentioned as an example.
Unexpected Points - Newsletter, mentioned as being run by Kevin Cole.
Wounded Warriors - Organization, mentioned in relation to J.R. Martinez's puppy's name.
Yale University - Mentioned as the institution where Maya Shankar was an undergraduate student.
University of Pennsylvania's Hospital System - Provided data for research on donation requests.
Dell Technologies - Company offering Cyber Monday sales on PCs and accessories, mentioned as a sponsor.
Airbnb - Platform for short-term rentals, mentioned as a sponsor and for its hosting opportunities.
World Science Festival - Multimedia science education organization, featured an event where Dr. Laurie Santos spoke.
Disney Imagineer - Profession mentioned at the World Science Festival.
MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) - University Avery Miller initially aspired to attend.
Purdue University - University Avery Miller attended to become an aerospace engineer.
Quest Health - Resource for purchasing lab tests online, mentioned as a sponsor.
Bosch - Company offering refrigerators with VitaFresh technology, mentioned as a sponsor.
Lily - Medicine company, mentioned in relation to sleep apnea information.

Websites & Online Resources

givedirectly.org/happinesslab - URL for donating to the #PodsFightPoverty campaign.
givingmultiplier.org - Website for Giving Multiplier.
omnystudio.com/listener - URL for privacy information.
chase.com/businesscard - Website to learn more about Chase business credit cards.
amica.com - Website to get a quote from Amica Insurance.
givedirectly.org/happinesslab - URL for donating to the #PodsFightPoverty campaign.
dell.com/deals - Website for Dell's Cyber Monday sales.
airbnb.com/host - Website to find out how much a home might be worth as an Airbnb.
dontsleeponosa.com - Website to learn more about sleep apnea.
questhealth.com - Website to explore lab tests.
boschhome.us.com - Website for Bosch home appliances.

Other Resources

#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty - Hashtag for a campaign to raise money to fight poverty.
#PodsFightPoverty -