Psychedelic Journaling Accelerates Therapeutic Insights and Solidifies Identity

Key Quotes

"December 26th 2021 upstate New York three grams of dried magic mushrooms the friend who gave these to me says they're called pink buffalo here is emmy grammy oscar and tony award winning comedian will be goldberg capturing my reaction to this name okay 11 am empty stomach with a thick dollop of peanut butter on a spoon here we go plants and music both swaying emotional erotic tender a journey of what matters most to me trust friendship they are two with me incense is burning mcdonald's double quarter pounder within arm's length is my plant trying to hook up with me wow i'm flirting with a plant i should text my friends paige hey baby danny okay wait wait wait jasmine i was so stupidly hot i come back to earth with a takeaway that feels like it should be on an instagram infographic life is a road and i know how to drive"

Aaron Edwards presents an excerpt from his psychedelic diary, detailing a mushroom trip in upstate New York. Edwards captures the sensory and emotional experience, including mundane details like a McDonald's meal and unexpected flirtations with a plant. This quote highlights the blend of the profound and the ordinary that can occur during such experiences.

"how nice it would be for every chapter of life to have a neat end instead of one careening into the next with guts and scars and unfinished drafts strewn behind you as you slouch toward the brooklyn queens expressway i'm forgetting who i am and so i yell it i'm aaron i'm black i'm jamaican i'm kind i can be stubborn okay two i have beautiful friends love you so much in another life i think i was a spaceship in gallaga i have a nice butt"

Aaron Edwards reflects on the messy, non-linear nature of life's progression, contrasting it with a desire for neat conclusions. He then asserts his identity by listing his various facets, including his race, heritage, and personal qualities. Edwards emphasizes the importance of self-affirmation and the support of friends in solidifying one's sense of self.

"when i was diagnosed with ocd three years ago i started taking mushrooms as a way to sift through the noise in my head the onslaught of intrusive thoughts and regrets the replaying of every time i felt like i'd fallen short at this concert i feel for the first time in a long time release but i realized the victory here is knowing that all feelings must come and all feelings must go and we are rarely in control of when"

Aaron Edwards explains his personal motivation for using mushrooms, linking it to his diagnosis of OCD and the desire to manage intrusive thoughts. He describes experiencing a sense of release at a concert, realizing that the true victory lies in understanding the transient nature of all emotions. Edwards articulates a philosophy of acceptance regarding the uncontrollable ebb and flow of feelings.

"so i listened to your piece a million times i just i love the part where you said i'm black i'm jamaican i have beautiful friends yeah i mean the one thing that i especially found moving is when you said i am kind and i've wondered is that something you already knew about yourself or how did how did you find that out about yourself hmm i do have really great friends who constantly remind me that i am more and better than i think of myself i overthink things sometimes to a benefit but often to a fault and i also think that i nitpick at the way that i move through the world and i always think that i'm doing something wrong i'm just my toughest critic and i think a lot of people will say that about themselves so i think i think that i got to that conclusion because the reminder that i get from people who who love me and who see me and who understand me is starting to stick a little bit more"

Amy Perl asks Aaron Edwards about his self-perception, specifically regarding his statement "I am kind." Edwards explains that his friends' consistent affirmations have helped him internalize this quality, counteracting his tendency to overthink and self-criticize. He suggests that external validation from loved ones can gradually shift one's internal narrative.

"i love the snow but i'm actually getting a bit cold do you want to run into the library for a sec with me i think i kind of want to stay here i'm just kidding come on i'll stay here come on i'm cold the the library great place let's go information let's go sit down so i listened to your piece a million times i just i love the part where you said i'm black i'm jamaican i have beautiful friends yeah i mean the one thing that i especially found moving is when you said i am kind and i've wondered is that something you already knew about yourself or how did how did you find that out about yourself hmm i do have really great friends who constantly remind me that i am more and better than i think of myself"

Amy Perl, while experiencing cold weather, transitions the conversation to discussing Aaron Edwards' piece, highlighting his declaration of having beautiful friends. Perl probes Edwards on how he came to identify himself as "kind," questioning if it was an innate knowledge or a learned realization. Edwards elaborates that his friends' consistent positive reinforcement has been instrumental in his self-acceptance.

"so um do you feel warmed up i do okay i have a few more questions so do you want to go back out to the park we'll do it outside yeah sounds great let's go singing um there's actually there's this one part in your piece when you're kind of losing track of who you are and so you like yell it out what what did that do for you when you yelled out like i am aaron i think what was happening was like i had leaned back into the grass and it was like all the leaves and stuff were coagulating is that the word around me yeah i felt very like lost and i felt a little scared i wasn't sure how deep the trip was going to go and i was like i think i'm alone i think i can just like start yelling things because that's how i feel like well what i feel like i want to do it just felt like a release it was a little goofy it was a little it felt a little dumb but it felt awesome at the same time and i didn't think about it yeah it felt really really freeing and grounding when you yelled out i am aaron i immediately was like i want to do it i want my chance to do it"

Amy Perl asks Aaron Edwards about the impact of his act of yelling his name, "I am Aaron," during a disorienting psychedelic experience. Edwards explains that this action, performed while feeling lost and scared, served as a release and a grounding mechanism. He describes the feeling as simultaneously goofy and awesome, ultimately resulting in a sense of freedom.