Gwyneth Paltrow's Return to Acting and Personal Evolution
TL;DR
- Gwyneth Paltrow's return to acting in "Marty Supreme" mirrored her personal experience of rediscovering her passion, highlighting the vulnerability and unique joy found in returning to a beloved craft after a hiatus.
- Josh Safdie's directorial approach challenges actors by requesting opposite actions, a method designed to unearth surprising and authentic performances by fostering trust and pushing creative boundaries.
- Gwyneth Paltrow's candid discussion on codependency and learning to hold uncomfortable feelings reveals a personal journey toward self-honoring directness, emphasizing the importance of speaking truth kindly.
- The conversation highlights how societal projection and personal evolution create multiple versions of ourselves, making it challenging when public perception clashes with internal growth.
- Paltrow's reflection on her early career, marked by rapid work and a lack of self-agency, underscores the difficulty of navigating one's twenties without a strong sense of self.
- The dialogue emphasizes that personal growth involves shedding past selves and embracing vulnerability, a process that can be met with public judgment but is essential for authenticity.
- Paltrow's experience with the "conscious uncoupling" concept illustrates how attempts at amicable divorce can be misinterpreted as personal blame, revealing the deeply personal nature of relationship dissolution.
Deep Dive
Gwyneth Paltrow discusses her return to acting in "The Sex Lives of College Girls," highlighting the unique experience of stepping back into a role after a decade. The conversation reveals a nuanced perspective on career choices, personal growth, and the challenges of public perception, underscoring the evolution of self-awareness and direct communication as crucial for navigating both professional and personal life.
Paltrow's return to acting in "The Sex Lives of College Girls" mirrors her character's on-stage comeback, a moment she found deeply human and perfect. This experience fostered a sense of missing the collaborative, unique nature of filmmaking. She describes director Josh Safdie as brilliant and kinetic, keeping her challenged and unrelaxed, which she finds conducive to unearthing surprising performances. Safdie, in turn, was drawn to Paltrow's duality of self-assuredness and vulnerability, writing the role specifically for her and experiencing her human vulnerability upon meeting her. This vulnerability, even from a revered actress, was key to convincing her to take the role, a process that involved multiple requests from Safdie to extend their initial meeting.
The discussion delves into the pressures of public projection, particularly for women who evolve over time. Paltrow's experience receiving the Sherry Lansing Woman Leadership Award highlighted the difficulty of having past versions of oneself scrutinized. This leads to a reflection on her childhood, her enduring friendship with Maya Rudolph rooted in their fathers' college connection, and her formative years in New York's Spence school, which she describes as a tender, scarring experience for everyone. Her early career involved minor roles, and she recounts being fired from a toy store job at age 12 for taking an unapproved spring break, an experience that felt brutal at the time. Later, a film role was dropped due to the intense press surrounding her "conscious uncoupling" from Chris Martin, a decision she found ironically fitting given her concurrent divorce. She views her "conscious uncoupling" philosophy as an attempt to navigate marital dissolution constructively, acknowledging that its public reception revealed how personal such concepts can be for others.
Paltrow shares insights on her communication style, identifying as a "recovering codependent" who now prioritizes directness. She learned to manage the discomfort of disappointing others and realized that withholding truth causes greater problems. This shift, occurring around age 40, emphasizes self-honoring through speaking truths kindly and recognizing that individuals are responsible for their own feelings. Her approach to work reflects this, characterized by a striving for improvement and efficiency, which she attributes to being an Enneagram One, the "Reformer." This drive for betterment extends to personal well-being, including cold plunging (with a caveat for women to listen to their bodies), a preference for sleeping in cooler temperatures, and an unexpected preference for heavy cream in coffee over alternative milks. Her sleep routine involves a nightly bath and an early dinner, a practice she shares with her husband, Brad Falchuk. She also employs mouth tape, finding it beneficial for her teeth grinding, and emphasizes that personalized approaches to health are more effective than one-size-fits-all solutions.
The conversation concludes with a reflection on humor and shared experiences. Paltrow expresses regret for missing the SNL 50th anniversary, though she watched it remotely. She praises the comedic talent of Anna Kendrick and Will Ferrell, particularly a sketch involving a cult that humorously incorporated Kendrick Lamar's music. This type of committed, character-based sketch comedy, she believes, is highly effective. Ultimately, Paltrow's participation in "Good Hang" reinforces her reputation as someone who shares her learnings and experiments openly, embodying a spirit of continuous self-discovery and encouraging others to find their own paths, even if they involve "plunging" into the unknown.
Action Items
- Audit personal communication patterns: Identify instances of indirectness and practice direct communication with 3-5 colleagues over a 2-week period.
- Create a personal "versioning" framework: Document 3-5 key personal growth phases and the lessons learned from each to inform future self-reflection.
- Implement a structured approach to feedback: For 3-5 upcoming interactions, prepare to offer direct feedback and manage potential discomfort in others.
- Evaluate personal project scope: For 2-3 ongoing personal projects, define clear boundaries and "done" criteria to prevent overextension.
- Track personal "efficiency issues": For 1-2 recurring situations, identify root causes of perceived inefficiency and test alternative direct approaches.
Key Quotes
"I have this memory of her obviously she's was acting until pretty recently but I have this memory of her as like a teenager as like a kid in the movies like you know obviously for earlier like seven and and hard eight pta and fincher and my cinematographer shot seven like those were like early like you're into film you're like wow these are so but then like talented mr ripley and great expectations and a perfect murder amazing movie like she plays and later two lovers by james gray I mean she's talked about as a movie star who hasn't acted in a long time immediately and that I think for her also was really really special because it was it was easy for her to tap into that but she like brought she's cool she's like like a boulder but also a feather at the same time so she's like she brings that to the movie in such a great way but she she sent to me right before we started shooting I I scheduled it so that the first thing that we shot was um her like acting on stage her character acting on stage for the first time in 25 years so and she turns to me she's like I hope I remember how to do this and it was something so like this person I like looked up to and one of my the greatest actors and I just you know revered her and now she's coming to me and she's so vulnerable and it was so human it was so like perfect it was so perfect that's the thing I think is so interesting about Gwyneth is she balances those two things like a lot of real like self awareness and self assuredness and confidence and then a very open creative and vulnerable quality both of them a lot and and I really um I'm so interested in talking to her about exactly that the that moment in your film"
Director Josh Safdie explains his approach to casting Gwyneth Paltrow in "Mothers' Instinct." He describes how he wrote the role with her in mind, drawing on his memories of her earlier work. Safdie highlights Paltrow's ability to balance confidence with vulnerability, a quality he found particularly impactful when she expressed nervousness about returning to acting on stage for the first time in 25 years.
"I did I did feel it I was so um I don't know it was like such a special group you know how sometimes you do a project and you're like oh this feels really special you know feels like we're making something worthwhile I don't know if people will like it or not but it's like a real swing and everyone's great at their job and and so I was like wow I think I missed this you know it was like it really it it felt so I don't know like not pedestrian like it felt very unique and like special"
Gwyneth Paltrow reflects on her experience making the film "Mothers' Instinct." She describes a feeling of connection with the cast and crew, noting that the project felt special and worthwhile. Paltrow conveys that the unique and non-pedestrian nature of the filmmaking process made her realize how much she had missed acting.
"I mean I think when you don't say what needs to be said in the moment to spare somebody else's feelings first of all like you're rejecting the truest part of yourself and then it's going to come out another way and that's like you'll end up being dishonest you'll end up not saying what needs to be said you'll end up stringing out some lame relationship for eight extra months and treating them not so nicely because you have stuck yourself in something you know it just makes a mess so I think around the time I turned 40 is when I started to move into this like I really need to stop doing this and I worked with a coach on how to hold the uncomfortable feelings of somebody else and disappointing somebody else"
Gwyneth Paltrow discusses her journey with codependency and learning to be more direct. She explains that avoiding difficult conversations to spare others' feelings ultimately leads to dishonesty and prolongs negative situations. Paltrow shares that around age 40, she began actively working on accepting the discomfort of disappointing others and speaking her truth.
"I mean I think as far as the work is concerned I think now that I had such a long break and things have changed and you know it's like now I'm like the venerable old you know you know what I mean and like I did this interview with Jacob Battalon the other day and he was like you've done this and this and this and I'm like fuck I'm old as hell like it's so weird people are like my mom my mom loves you my mom loves you when my mom was in high school she loved SNL oh my god can I get a selfie for my mom like how old am I like um but I do think that you know there's there's been a bit of a it's so interesting because now I'm like oh yeah like I did these things that now you know at the time you don't think that they're going to be whatever and then it's like you know people send you 10 pictures every Halloween of Margo Tenenbaum costumes or like people say like oh god I had a sliding doors moment where I x y and z you know what I mean it's like yes cultural things have stuck yes exactly and and I and oh I worked with this great director and his first film and this one and his second this one is first and like yeah cool like I did do that stuff that's neat you know and it feels like for the first time I'm able to feel the impact of the work that I did earlier in my life"
Gwyneth Paltrow reflects on her career and how her perspective has shifted after a long break from acting. She notes that she now feels a sense of being a "venerable old" figure in the industry, with younger actors referencing her past work. Paltrow expresses that it's interesting to see how her earlier films and roles have had a lasting cultural impact, allowing her to finally appreciate the significance of her work.
"I mean I think I'm an Enneagram One okay jackpot here we go so like I'm always trying to improve everything great so for people I don't know anyone who's listened to this who hasn't hopefully what is Enneagram One how would you are you into the Enneagram thing very much again okay do you want to guess my number nobody ever gets it right god here we go I'm always I always get the wrong I always people guess the wrong number which saddens me because I love can I ask you some questions please okay like how would you describe yourself as someone who really enjoys a dinner party yes okay would you describe yourself as somebody who is very focused on achieving yes are you a peacemaker no you're talking about three you're talking about nine I'm neither one of those I know that's what I just gleaned so how I have a peacemaker wing okay ah so you're a one you're not a one with a two wing no okay you're not an eight yes
Resources
External Resources
Books
- "Seven" - Mentioned as an early film by director Josh Safdie.
- "Hard Eight" - Mentioned as an early film by director Josh Safdie.
- "Talented Mr. Ripley" - Mentioned as a film starring Gwyneth Paltrow.
- "Great Expectations" - Mentioned as a film starring Gwyneth Paltrow.
- "A Perfect Murder" - Mentioned as a film starring Gwyneth Paltrow.
- "Two Lovers" - Mentioned as a film by James Gray starring Gwyneth Paltrow.
Videos & Documentaries
- "Good Time" - Mentioned as a film directed by Josh Safdie starring Robert Pattinson.
- "Uncut Gems" - Mentioned as a film directed by Josh Safdie starring Adam Sandler.
Articles & Papers
- "The Hollywood Reporter" - Mentioned as the source where Gwyneth Paltrow received the Sherry Lansing Woman Leadership Award.
People
- Gwyneth Paltrow - Guest on the podcast, discussing her new film "Marty Supreme" and return to acting.
- Josh Safdie - Director of "Marty Supreme," interviewed via Zoom.
- Robert Pattinson - Mentioned as starring in Josh Safdie's film "Good Time."
- Adam Sandler - Mentioned as starring in Josh Safdie's film "Uncut Gems."
- Maya Rudolph - Mentioned as having attended elementary school with Gwyneth Paltrow and having fathers who were best friends.
- Dick Rudolph - Mentioned as Maya Rudolph's father and a friend of Gwyneth Paltrow's father.
- Will Ferrell - Mentioned as having played Gwyneth Paltrow's father in an SNL sketch.
- Fred Armisen - Mentioned as having been on SNL with Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Seth Meyers - Mentioned as having been on SNL with Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Jimmy Fallon - Mentioned as being in his first season of SNL when Gwyneth Paltrow was on.
- Horatio Sanz - Mentioned as having been on SNL with Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Dermott Mulroney - Mentioned as having been on SNL with Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Ken Drapcho - Mentioned as having been on SNL with Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Chris Kattan - Mentioned as having been on SNL with Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Tracy Morgan - Mentioned as having been on SNL with Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Colin Quinn - Mentioned as having been on SNL with Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Rob Lowe - Mentioned as having attended his 60th birthday party.
- Brad Falchuk - Mentioned as Gwyneth Paltrow's husband, with whom she had a conversation at Rob Lowe's party.
- Tom Cruise - Mentioned in relation to Gwyneth Paltrow's mistaken belief she was in "Iron Man" with him.
- Jacob Batalon - Mentioned as having interviewed Gwyneth Paltrow and noted her extensive filmography.
- Nicole Kidman - Mentioned as someone Gwyneth Paltrow is mistaken for.
- Robin Williams - Mentioned in relation to the film "Hook" and "Good Will Hunting."
- Matt Damon - Mentioned as starring in and co-writing "Good Will Hunting."
- Ben Affleck - Mentioned as starring in and co-writing "Good Will Hunting."
- Gus Van Sant - Mentioned as the director of "Good Will Hunting."
- Elliot Smith - Mentioned as having done the music for "Good Will Hunting."
- Judd Nelson - Mentioned as a celebrity crush of Gwyneth Paltrow's from "The Breakfast Club."
- Rashida Jones - Mentioned as enjoying hanging out with Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Hannibal Buress - Mentioned as enjoying hanging out with Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Anna Faris - Mentioned as having done a sketch with Gwyneth Paltrow on SNL.
- Will Forte - Mentioned as having done a sketch with Gwyneth Paltrow on SNL.
- Paul Pell - Mentioned as the writer of an SNL sketch featuring Anna Faris and Will Forte.
- Lauren Hill - Mentioned as having performed before Anna Faris and Will Forte's sketch on SNL.
- Kendrick Lamar - Mentioned as the artist whose song Anna Faris sang in an SNL sketch.
- Bill Simmons - Mentioned as an executive producer of "Good Hang."
- Jenna Weiss-Berman - Mentioned as an executive producer of "Good Hang."
- Amy Poehler - Mentioned as an executive producer and host of "Good Hang."
- Jack Wilson - Mentioned as a producer for "Good Hang" from The Ringer.
- Cat Spilane - Mentioned as a producer for "Good Hang" from The Ringer.
- Kaya McMullen - Mentioned as a producer for "Good Hang" from The Ringer.
- Aleah Zeneris - Mentioned as a producer for "Good Hang" from The Ringer.
- Sam Green - Mentioned as a producer for "Good Hang" from Paper Kite.
- Joel Lovell - Mentioned as a producer for "Good Hang" from Paper Kite.
- Amy Miles - Mentioned as the composer of original music for "Good Hang."
Organizations & Institutions
- Nespresso - Sponsor of the podcast episode.
- Tulane University - Mentioned as the alma mater of Gwyneth Paltrow's and Maya Rudolph's fathers.
- SNL (Saturday Night Live) - Mentioned as a show Gwyneth Paltrow has appeared on.
- The Ringer - Production company for "Good Hang."
- Paper Kite - Production company for "Good Hang."
- Planet Fitness - Sponsor of the podcast episode.
- Kraft Mac and Cheese - Sponsor of the podcast episode.
- Apple Watch - Sponsor of the podcast episode.
- Visible - Sponsor of the podcast episode.
Websites & Online Resources
- Nespresso.com - Website for Nespresso purchases.
- Visible.com - Website for Visible plan information.
- Apple.com/applewatch - Website for Apple Watch information.
Other Resources
- "Marty Supreme" - Gwyneth Paltrow's new film.
- "Good Hang" - The podcast episode.
- "The Breakfast Club" - Mentioned in relation to Judd Nelson.
- "Sliding Doors" - Mentioned as a film starring Gwyneth Paltrow.
- "Contagion" - Mentioned as a film starring Gwyneth Paltrow that gained popularity during the pandemic.
- "The Royal Tenenbaums" - Mentioned as a film starring Gwyneth Paltrow.
- "Hook" - Mentioned as a film starring Robin Williams.
- "Good Will Hunting" - Mentioned as a film starring Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.
- "Cold Mountain" - Mentioned as a film Gwyneth Paltrow was mistakenly thought to be in.
- "Iron Man" - Mentioned as a film Gwyneth Paltrow was mistakenly thought to be in with Tom Cruise.
- "The Santa Clause" - Mentioned as a film starring Tim Allen.
- "The Breakfast Club" - Mentioned in relation to Judd Nelson.
- "The Royal Tenenbaums" - Mentioned as a film starring Gwyneth Paltrow.
- "Flight Attendants" - Mentioned as a movie Gwyneth Paltrow was in.
- "The Good Place" - Mentioned as a show Gwyneth Paltrow has been in.
- "Parks and Rec" - Mentioned as a show Gwyneth Paltrow has been in.
- "Glee" - Mentioned as a show Gwyneth Paltrow appeared on.
- "SNL 50th" - Mentioned as an event Gwyneth Paltrow did not attend.
- "Radio City" - Mentioned as the venue for an SNL event.
- "The Ringer" - Production company for "Good Hang."
- "Paper Kite" - Production company for "Good Hang."
- Enneagram - Personality typing system discussed by Gwyneth Paltrow and the host.
- Enneagram One - Gwyneth Paltrow's Enneagram type.
- Enneagram Eight - The host's Enneagram type.
- Enneagram Nine - Mentioned as a wing for Enneagram Eight.
- Cold Plunge - Health practice discussed by Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Estrogen Supplementation - Potential treatment for bone density discussed.
- Heavy Weights - Exercise for bone density.
- Lagree - A type of Pilates reformer machine.
- Bone Broth - Health drink discussed.
- Mouth Tape - Sleep aid discussed.
- Earplugs - Sleep aid discussed.
- Conscious Uncoupling - Term coined by Gwyneth Paltrow regarding her divorce.
- Macrobiotic Diet - Diet Gwyneth Paltrow followed in the 2000s.
- "Sliding Doors" - Mentioned as a film starring Gwyneth Paltrow.
- "Contagion" - Mentioned as a film starring Gwyneth Paltrow that gained popularity during the pandemic.
- "The Royal Tenenbaums" - Mentioned as a film starring Gwyneth Paltrow.
- "Flight Attendants" - Mentioned as a movie Gwyneth Paltrow was in.
- "The Good Place" - Mentioned as a show Gwyneth Paltrow has been in.
- "Parks and Rec" - Mentioned as a show Gwyneth Paltrow has been in.
- "Glee" - Mentioned as a show Gwyneth Paltrow appeared on.
- "SNL 50th" - Mentioned as an event Gwyneth Paltrow did not attend.
- "Radio City" - Mentioned as the venue for an SNL event.
- "The Ringer" - Production company for "Good Hang."
- "Paper Kite" - Production company for "Good Hang."
- Enneagram - Personality typing system discussed by Gwyneth Paltrow and the host.
- Enneagram One - Gwyneth Paltrow's Enneagram type.
- Enneagram Eight - The host's Enneagram type.
- Enneagram Nine - Mentioned as a wing for Enneagram Eight.
- Cold Plunge - Health practice discussed by Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Estrogen Supplementation - Potential treatment for bone density discussed.
- Heavy Weights - Exercise for bone density.
- Lagree - A type of Pilates reformer machine.
- Bone Broth - Health drink discussed.
- **M