Nine Habits for Personal Growth, Health, and Resilience

The Mel Robbins Podcast · December 25, 2025 · Listen to Original Episode →

Original Title:

TL;DR

Feeling "stuck" is a grief response to a past version of oneself, not an inability to move forward, requiring release of outdated identities or mindsets to enable progress.
Adult friendships naturally shift, with individuals replacing half their friends every seven years, necessitating proactive new friend acquisition rather than shame over lost connections.
Certain foods, like berries and purple sweet potatoes, offer significant cancer prevention and survivorship benefits by influencing tumor genes and reducing oxidative stress.
Women's health and exercise responses differ from men's; training on an empty stomach can be detrimental, while adequate pre-exercise fueling supports muscle mass and energy.
Aging is inevitable, but weakness is not; proactive focus on mobility, strength training, and self-care can prevent the debilitating physical decline often seen in older women.
Anger in men often masks deeper emotions like hurt or sadness, stemming from societal limitations on expressing a full emotional spectrum, requiring deeper communication.
Childhood experiences are unique to each individual, even within the same family, shaping adult emotional patterns and relationships by influencing how parents showed up.
Hope is not a passive feeling but a trainable "orientation of the spirit" cultivated by learning from stories of resilient individuals, crucial for navigating challenges and pursuing justice.

Deep Dive

This "best of" compilation from The Mel Robbins Podcast distills the year's most impactful insights into nine core habits, demonstrating a listener-driven focus on personal growth across relationships, health, and mindset. The podcast's success, evidenced by its top rankings, stems from its ability to connect with listeners by highlighting moments that provide clarity, validation, and actionable strategies for navigating life's challenges. The selection of these nine moments underscores a collective desire for deeper self-understanding, practical advice, and empowerment to create a more fulfilling life.

The core arguments presented revolve around reframing common struggles into manageable processes, thereby demystifying complex personal issues. Jay Shetty's insight that feeling "stuck" is actually a form of grieving a past self, rather than an inability to move forward, offers a profound shift in perspective. This reframing allows individuals to identify the outdated identities or mindsets holding them back, thereby enabling release and forward momentum. Similarly, Danielle Bayard Jackson's research-based explanation that friendships naturally "prune" and that replacing half of one's friends every seven years is normal, combats the shame many feel about changing social circles. This normalization empowers listeners to proactively seek new connections and to understand that evolving friendships are a sign of personal growth, not failure.

In the realm of health, Dr. Don M. Saloum's tactical advice on five specific foods that combat cancer provides a tangible, science-backed approach to disease prevention and survivorship, shifting the conversation from fear to control through diet. This empowers individuals with actionable steps to support their well-being. Dr. Stacy Sims' assertion that "women are not small men" and her critique of generalized fitness advice highlights a critical need for gender-specific health strategies, particularly regarding exercise and nutrition, thereby validating women's unique physiological needs and debunking ineffective, male-centric approaches. Dr. Vonda Wright's powerful message that "getting old is inevitable, getting weak is not" reframes aging not as a passive decline but as a trainable state, emphasizing the importance of strength, mobility, and proactive self-care to avoid the debilitating consequences of frailty, particularly for women.

On a deeper emotional and relational level, Jason Wilson's explanation of why men often express anger or silence--as a limited emotional vocabulary shaped by societal expectations--provides crucial context for understanding male behavior, fostering empathy and improving communication in relationships. Dr. Gabor Maté's assertion that "no siblings grow up in the same childhood" due to individual temperaments and parental interactions, offers a powerful lens for self-compassion and understanding family dynamics, suggesting that personal experiences, not just parental intent, shape individual development. Finally, Bryan Stevenson's profound insight that hope is not a passive feeling but an "orientation of the spirit" that can be trained and cultivated through learning from others, provides a vital framework for sustained resilience in the face of adversity, framing hope as an active, essential tool for justice and personal progress.

The overarching implication of these nine moments is that personal transformation is achievable through reframing challenges, understanding universal human experiences, and applying evidence-based strategies. By demystifying complex issues like emotional expression, friendship, health, and healing, the podcast empowers listeners to take ownership of their lives, fostering self-compassion, proactive self-care, and a renewed sense of hope and agency.

Action Items

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Key Quotes

"What I'd like people to remember is that you're not stuck, you're actually grieving a past version of yourself. So there's a part of you that's died that actually you left behind a long time ago, but there's a part of you that still misses it. You still want things to be the same, you still want things to be that way, and that keeps pulling you back, and that's actually blocking you from making the next move."

Jay Shetty explains that the feeling of being "stuck" is not due to a lack of knowing what to do next, but rather a resistance to letting go of a past identity or way of life. Shetty suggests that this clinging to what was familiar prevents forward movement, framing it as a form of grief for a version of oneself that no longer exists.

"So men and women, um, yeah, there's research that finds that we replace half of our friends every seven years. I hope that that makes people feel a little less ashamed if they have friendships that don't work out because what that says to me is that there's this natural pruning that happens throughout your life. I also hope that that has people release any shame around needing to make new friends because I hear people say, 'I'm out here making friends at 42, I should have had all my friends from high school.'"

Danielle Bayard Jackson highlights research indicating that individuals replace approximately half of their friends every seven years, suggesting this is a natural process of life transitions. Jackson aims to alleviate shame associated with friendships ending or the need to form new connections, emphasizing that this "pruning" is normal and that making new friends at any age is appropriate.

"So there's research with berries that's so exciting both for breast cancer prevention as well as breast cancer survivorship. You won't believe this, for every two servings a week it can reduce the risk of breast cancer and for breast cancer survivors it can reduce the risk of dying from breast cancer by 25%."

Dr. Dawn Mussallem shares compelling research on the benefits of berries for breast cancer prevention and survivorship. Mussallem points to a study indicating that consuming just two servings of berries per week can significantly lower the risk of developing breast cancer and reduce the risk of death from the disease by 25% for survivors.

"So the advice that you're about to hear it comes from the single most popular episode that the Mel Robbins podcast has ever released in the last three years that we have been doing this show and it's also from the number one most shared episode of every single episode on the planet on Apple in 2025. That's how inspiring and how empowering this advice is."

Mel Robbins emphasizes the profound impact and widespread popularity of advice from Dr. Stacy Sims' episode on women's health. Robbins notes that this particular episode achieved the highest ranking for both popularity and sharing across all podcasts globally, underscoring the empowering nature of the insights provided.

"No siblings grow up in the same house. No siblings have the same parents. No siblings have the same family. No siblings have the same childhood. Why? For a whole lot of reasons. Number one, there's the birth order. Parents don't relate to the first child the way they relate to the second child. Then there's gender differences. Parents don't relate to..."

Dr. Gabor Maté explains that each individual's childhood experience is unique, even within the same family. Maté details how factors such as birth order, gender, parental relationship dynamics, and the parents' life circumstances at the time of each child's upbringing create distinct experiences for siblings. He also notes that children's differing temperaments further shape how they perceive and interact with their parents, leading to fundamentally different childhoods for each child.

"Our hope is what can sustain us when things look bleak and difficult. And that is the reason why I believe that hopelessness is the enemy of justice. Justice will prevail if we allow ourselves to give in to hopelessness. Hope is our superpower. It's the thing that will get some of us to stand up even when people say sit down."

Bryan Stevenson defines hope as a vital force that sustains individuals through adversity and is essential for the pursuit of justice. Stevenson posits that hopelessness is the antithesis of justice and that hope acts as a personal superpower, empowering individuals to persevere and act even when faced with opposition or doubt.

Resources

External Resources

Books

"Fighting for Friendship" by Danielle Bayard Jackson - Mentioned as the title of an expert's bestselling book on adult friendship.
"The Man the Moment Demands" by Jason Wilson - Mentioned as the title of a bestselling book by an expert on masculinity.
"Just Mercy" by Bryan Stevenson - Mentioned as the title of a bestselling book by an expert on civil rights and justice.

Articles & Papers

"The Body Reset: How Women Should Eat & Exercise for Health, Fat Loss, & Energy" (Source not explicitly stated, but implied to be an episode/content from Dr. Stacy Sims) - Discussed as an episode featuring expert advice on women's health, exercise, and nutrition.
"Mayo Clinic Cancer Doctor: 5 Foods That Heal the Body, Starve Cancer, & Prevent Disease" (Source not explicitly stated, but implied to be an episode/content from Dr. Dawn Mussallem) - Discussed as an episode featuring expert advice on foods that fight cancer.
"Your Guide to Better Sex, Intimacy, & Love From a World-Leading Sex Therapist" (Source not explicitly stated, but implied to be an episode/content from Vanessa Marin) - Discussed as an episode featuring expert advice on improving sex life and intimacy.
"The Real Reason Boys and Men Are Quietly Giving Up & What They Need to Hear" (Source not explicitly stated, but implied to be an episode/content from Jason Wilson) - Discussed as an episode featuring expert advice on the emotional lives of men.
"Look, Feel, & Stay Young Forever: #1 Orthopedic Surgeon’s Proven Protocol" (Source not explicitly stated, but implied to be an episode/content from Dr. Vonda Wright) - Discussed as an episode featuring expert advice on aging, mobility, and longevity.
"Why You Feel Lost in Life: Dr. Gabor Maté on Trauma & How to Heal" (Source not explicitly stated, but implied to be an episode/content from Dr. Gabor Maté) - Discussed as an episode featuring expert advice on trauma and healing.
"This Conversation Will Change Your Life: Do This to Find Purpose & Meaning" (Source not explicitly stated, but implied to be an episode/content from Bryan Stevenson) - Discussed as an episode featuring expert advice on finding purpose and meaning.

People

Jay Shetty - Featured expert on finding clarity and meaning, host of "On Purpose" podcast, chief purpose officer at Calm, former monk.
Danielle Bayard Jackson - Featured expert on adult friendship, bestselling author of "Fighting for Friendship," director of the Women's Relational Health Institute.
Dr. Dawn Mussallem - Featured expert, double board-certified Mayo Clinic cancer doctor, lifestyle medicine expert, stage four cancer survivor.
Vanessa Marin - Featured expert, licensed sex therapist with over 20 years of clinical practice, author.
Jason Wilson - Featured expert, founder and director of the Cave of Adullam Transformation Training Academy, author, recipient of the President's Volunteer Service Award.
Dr. Stacy Sims - Featured expert, PhD in exercise physiology and nutrition science, faculty at Stanford University and Auckland University of Technology, renowned researcher.
Dr. Vonda Wright - Featured expert, double board-certified orthopedic surgeon, expert on aging, mobility, and longevity, author.
Dr. Gabor Maté - Featured expert, world-renowned physician, bestselling author, expert on childhood experiences, trauma, and their impact on health.
Bryan Stevenson - Featured expert, civil rights attorney, founder of the Equal Justice Initiative, author of "Just Mercy."

Organizations & Institutions

Mayo Clinic - Institution where Dr. Dawn Mussallem is a cancer doctor.
Stanford University - Institution where Dr. Stacy Sims teaches and directed research programs.
Auckland University of Technology - Institution where Dr. Stacy Sims teaches and directed research programs.
University of Waikato - Institution where Dr. Stacy Sims directed research programs.
University of Pittsburgh - Institution where Dr. Vonda Wright was medical director of the UPMC Sports Medicine Complex and director of research groups.
Equal Justice Initiative (EJI) - Organization founded by Bryan Stevenson.

Websites & Online Resources

melrobbins.com/bestyear - Website to sign up for a free 20-page workbook.
Apple Podcasts - Platform mentioned for podcast listening and rankings.
Spotify - Platform mentioned for podcast listening and rankings.
YouTube - Platform mentioned for watching episodes.
Amazon - Retailer where L'Oréal Paris True Match Foundation can be found.
SiriusXM Podcasts+ - Service to listen to new episodes ad-free.
Intuit QuickBooks - Mentioned as a business solution.
AT&T - Mentioned for iPhone deals.
MasterClass - Platform offering online courses from experts.
Amica Insurance - Mentioned as an insurance provider.
Expedia - Mentioned for booking travel.
Purdue Global - Mentioned as an online university.
Volvo - Mentioned for the XC90 SUV.
Perigold - Mentioned for home goods.

Other Resources

The Mel Robbins Podcast - The podcast series featuring the discussed episodes and experts.
Pure Genius - A protein company co-founded by Mel Robbins, inspired by medical experts.
The Let Them Theory - Mel Robbins' #1 bestselling book.
Cave of Adullam Transformation Training Academy - A school in Detroit founded by Jason Wilson for young boys.
The Crayon Analogy - An analogy used by Jason Wilson to explain the limited emotional expression of men.
Viral Push-Up Challenge - A challenge initiated by Dr. Vonda Wright, encouraging 11 push-ups.
Six Questions Workbook - A free workbook created by Mel Robbins' team to help users plan for the next year.