Proactive Planning for Successful Aging and Caregiving

Key Quotes

"The most important one right now is the fact that the people who are attending these programs of mine are not only family caregivers but explaining to me that they are wondering who's going to do that for them so the whole conversation about family caregiving is actually evolving it's no longer i'm going to take care of somebody it's also who's going to take care of me."

Joy Loverde observes that the focus of caregiving conversations is shifting from solely caring for others to also considering who will provide care for oneself. This highlights an evolving understanding of caregiving needs, acknowledging that individuals themselves will eventually require support. Loverde suggests this evolution is driven by people attending her programs and expressing this personal concern.

"Well actually i became my own client after i saw the need for people to plan for elder care and that visual happened when i was in high school actually when i went to a nursing home on thanksgiving morning... when i was about 40 and yes i was working at j walter thompson here in chicago i saw that if i would just create some kind of communication system which ended up being the first edition of the complete elder care planner that i could just get families to talk to each other and that is indeed what has taken place way back since the 1980s now."

Joy Loverde explains her transition into elder care planning by stating she became her own client after recognizing a societal need. This realization stemmed from an early experience in high school and a subsequent professional insight in her advertising career. Loverde then developed "The Complete Elder Care Planner" as a communication tool to encourage family discussions about elder care.

"We have there's so many myths that are floating around in the world about what it means to age right and we only have whatever advertising tells us or or all the pharmaceutical ads on the news and in the media so what i had suggested in the book was to talk about the concept of time travel and what that means is looking around you and see who is in your immediate space people who are hopefully 20 and 30 years older than you and approaching them under certain circumstances maybe you're at a wedding or maybe you're in a in a social situation where you can ask them hi i'd like to get to know more about you what is it that you are doing in your in your age now that is making you happy or is there anything you would have done differently as you aged."

Joy Loverde addresses the prevalence of myths surrounding aging, often perpetuated by media and advertising. To counter this, Loverde proposes the concept of "time travel," which involves engaging with individuals who are 20-30 years older. Loverde suggests asking them about their current happiness and any regrets to gain insights into successful aging.

"If you are diagnosed and have no plans in place then unfortunately it may be too late to have exactly what you want which goes back to the process of or the question rather of when do we start planning when we are faced with a diagnosis let's say of alzheimer's or parkinson's something that is chronic people don't realize how very expensive these diseases will be and how it will wreck havoc on our financial stability so it isn't a matter of when we're diagnosed what can we do we need to think way way in advance that if this happens then i have my legal documents in order and i have my financial house in place we have to assume that there will be certain things that we need to plan for far in advance."

Joy Loverde emphasizes the critical importance of advance planning for chronic health conditions like Alzheimer's or Parkinson's. She states that without prior plans, it may be too late to achieve desired outcomes once diagnosed. Loverde highlights the significant financial implications of these diseases and stresses the need for organized legal documents and financial preparedness well before a diagnosis occurs.

"The first thing if we have siblings if we're lucky enough to have siblings in a caregiving situation first thing you need to do is have a family meeting and get it all out in the open the good the bad and the ugly and there has to be rules about the family meeting so that no one's beaten up on somebody else and i have a very long list of how to create a real healthy family meeting and you don't have just one you have as many as you need be and by the way the parents are not invited."

Joy Loverde advises that when siblings are involved in caregiving, the initial step should be a family meeting. She stresses the importance of open communication, covering all aspects of the situation, and establishing rules to ensure a constructive environment. Loverde also notes that these meetings should be repeated as needed and that the parents receiving care should not be present.

"Where we live has everything to do with someone having immediate access to us and also we have forged relationships so it's a process that takes time and right now if you're sitting in your own house all alone in a neighborhood where it requires you to get in a car and go somewhere and people don't knock on your door and you're not in a community environment that is a setup for failure for the aging process oh unless of course you have tons of money to bring people in to help with services but as i mentioned a few minutes ago those people who are going to be helping us are going by the wayside so where we live where we live is super important."

Joy Loverde asserts that where one lives is paramount for aging successfully, as it directly impacts access to informal support networks. She explains that living alone in a car-dependent neighborhood without community interaction sets up a situation for failure in the aging process. Loverde contrasts this with environments where relationships are forged and immediate access to help is possible, especially as professional caregivers become less available.