Strategic Subtraction and Present Action for Sustainable Growth

The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett · December 29, 2025 · Listen to Original Episode →

Original Title:

TL;DR

Prioritizing "what would have to happen by the end of 2026 for me to look back and consider it a success" forces focus on high-impact outcomes, preventing the common mistake of setting unrealistically high goals that lead to failure.
Subtracting activities is as crucial as adding new ones; assuming current workload capacity and consciously removing tasks is essential for successfully integrating new goals without burnout.
Procrastination stems from either not knowing the next physical action or lacking the skill to perform it, both of which can be addressed by breaking tasks into small, actionable steps or seeking knowledge.
The "lonely chapter" of personal growth arises from friends not evolving at the same pace, necessitating a willingness to leave behind unsupportive groups to maintain one's trajectory.
External validation from achievements like fame or wealth does not fix internal voids; these are unteachable lessons learned only through personal experience, highlighting the importance of internal self-worth.
Problems are an inherent feature of life, not a bug; focusing on their inevitability and learning to lean into discomfort is more productive than railing against their existence.
Confidence is overrated; generating evidence of capability through consistent action, even with self-doubt, is a more reliable path to achieving goals and building genuine self-belief.

Deep Dive

Chris Williamson argues that the conventional approach to New Year's resolutions and goal-setting is fundamentally flawed, leading to widespread failure. His core insight is that individuals often set unrealistic, additive goals without considering the necessary subtractions from their current lives, and that true progress requires a deeper understanding of internal motivation and the avoidance of a "provisional life" mindset. The second-order implication is that by shifting focus from sheer accumulation to strategic subtraction and embracing a more realistic, iterative approach, individuals can achieve sustainable change and avoid the common pitfalls of burnout and disillusionment.

Williamson emphasizes that most people fail at New Year's resolutions because they rely on fleeting motivation rather than structured discipline, and they attempt to add too many new objectives without removing existing commitments. He proposes a crucial question for effective goal setting: "What would have to happen by the end of 2026 for me to look back and consider it a success?" This reframes the objective from an overwhelming wish list to a focused, achievable outcome. Furthermore, he introduces the concept of "doing less" by identifying what needs to be subtracted from one's life to make room for new endeavors, highlighting that true capacity does not expand to accommodate more without sacrifice. This contrasts with the common tendency to only think in terms of additions, leading to overwhelm and eventual abandonment of goals.

A significant second-order implication is the understanding that procrastination often stems from an avoidance of discomfort or a lack of clarity on the immediate, actionable steps required. Williamson suggests breaking down large tasks into the smallest possible "next actions" and seeking knowledge when unsure how to proceed, rather than succumbing to the paralysis of overwhelming objectives. He also challenges the "deferred life hypothesis," where individuals postpone living until certain goals are met, arguing that life is happening now and that problems are an inherent feature, not a bug, of existence. This perspective encourages embracing present realities and finding joy and meaning amidst challenges, rather than perpetually waiting for an idealized future.

The conversation also touches upon the importance of internal metrics of success over external ones, illustrating this with the parable of the Mexican fisherman. The core lesson here is that the relentless pursuit of wealth and status may lead one to a destination already accessible through a simpler, more fulfilling life. This implies that true satisfaction often lies not in external accumulation, but in appreciating present circumstances and aligning actions with personal values. Finally, Williamson advocates for a balanced approach to striving and self-compassion, recognizing that while ambition is necessary, it must be tempered with an understanding of one's limitations and the need for rest, thereby preventing self-destruction through perpetual "not enoughness."

The ultimate takeaway is that sustainable personal growth and achievement are not the result of overwhelming ambition, but of a disciplined, subtractive approach focused on clear, achievable steps, coupled with a profound acceptance of life's inherent challenges and a commitment to living presently.

Action Items

Create a prioritized list of 1-2 key goals for the next 12 months, ensuring each goal is specific and actionable (e.g., "Lose 20 pounds and find a supportive partner").
Develop a subtraction list of 3-5 activities to eliminate or reduce, balancing additions with subtractions to maintain current workload capacity.
Identify and document 1-2 recurring negative thoughts or emotions that caused harm or distraction, and plan a strategy to address them (e.g., journaling, seeking support).
Define the "next physical action" for 1-2 significant tasks that are being procrastinated on, breaking them down into the smallest, most manageable steps.
Schedule 15-30 minutes of unstructured reflection time daily or weekly, to allow for quiet contemplation and to listen to internal guidance.

Key Quotes

"The single best question to work out what you should be doing next year: What would have to happen by the end of 2026 for me to look back and consider it a success?"

Chris Williamson suggests this question helps to gain perspective on future goals. He explains that by focusing on a specific future outcome, individuals can clarify their priorities and usually narrow down their aspirations to a few key areas.

"First rule in order to pick something up, you have to put something down. Don't assume that just because you've loaded more onto your workload plate, your work capacity will expand to be able to fit it into your stomach like that's not the way that it works."

Williamson emphasizes that adding new goals or tasks requires subtracting existing ones. He uses the analogy of a plate at a buffet to illustrate that one's capacity is finite, and attempting to overload it leads to failure.

"The deferred life hypothesis is basically the sort of common belief that our life hasn't yet begun that what's happening now is a sort of prelude. It's an intro to our life truly beginning."

Chris Williamson describes the deferred life hypothesis as the tendency to believe that one's true life will start at some point in the future, rather than recognizing that the present moment is life itself. He warns that this can lead to a life spent waiting for an ideal future that may never arrive.

"The answers you seek are in the silence you're avoiding."

Williamson highlights the importance of introspection and quiet reflection. He suggests that by actively avoiding silence, individuals may be missing out on crucial insights and answers that are readily available if they would only pause and listen to their inner thoughts.

"The only way that your success can be judged is outwardly, so naturally we trade something which people can't see for something that they can see."

Chris Williamson discusses the distinction between observable and hidden metrics of success. He explains that people often prioritize external validation, such as job titles or wealth, over internal well-being, like peace of mind or quality relationships, because these external markers are more easily perceived by others.

"Problems are a feature of life, not a bug."

Williamson asserts that encountering problems is an inherent aspect of life, not an anomaly. He advises against expecting a future state free from challenges, suggesting instead that individuals should accept problems as a constant and learn to navigate them.

Resources

External Resources

Books

"The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho - Mentioned as an example of an unteachable lesson where the desired outcome is found after a long journey.
"The Blind Watchmaker" by Richard Dawkins - Referenced for the concept that maintaining a state of difference from one's environment requires continuous effort against a natural tendency towards equilibrium.

Articles & Papers

"Birth Gap Documentary" (Stephen J. Shaw) - Discussed in relation to declining birth rates and factors influencing them.

People

Naval Ravikant - Mentioned as having a special conversation with Chris Williamson.
Jordan Peterson - Referenced for his idea that the first steps to change are often embarrassingly small.
David Allen - Mentioned for his productivity strategy "Getting Things Done" and the concept of "next action."
Ryan Holiday - Quoted for the idea that self-belief is overrated and evidence should be generated.
Tai Chi-ro - Mentioned for his work on personality traits and their reliability in predicting relationship outcomes.
Barry Schwartz - Referenced for the "paradox of choice" and its impact on decision-making and satisfaction.
Jeff Bezos - Mentioned for his "Type 1 vs. Type 2 doors" concept regarding decision-making.
Neera AI - Quoted for the idea that procrastination is the avoidance of discomfort.
Eckhart Tolle - Mentioned as an example of someone who might whisper a message of self-acceptance.
David Goggins - Mentioned as an example of someone who might scream a message of pushing harder.
Andrew Wilkinson - Quoted as saying "type A people have a type B problem" (insecure overachievers).
Andrew Huberman - Mentioned for his work on morning sunlight and ambulation for tuning down the fear response.
Steven J. Shaw - Mentioned for his work on the "vitality curve" in relation to having children.
Lyman Stone - Mentioned as a demographer who discussed declining birth rates.
Tucker Carlson - Mentioned in the context of having children and family.
Joe Rogan - Mentioned in the context of having children and family.
Jay Shetty - Mentioned as being in the top 10 global podcasts with Chris Williamson and Steven Bartlett, and in the context of having children.
Matthew McConaughey - Mentioned as a guest on a digital screen, representing a high-level podcast outcome.
Grug - A hypothetical caveman used to illustrate the concept of "shame of small fears."
J.P. Sartre - Quoted for the idea of a "toothless life" and reserving oneself for later.

Organizations & Institutions

Modern Wisdom - Chris Williamson's podcast.
The Diary Of A CEO - Steven Bartlett's podcast.
Pipedrive - Mentioned as a sponsor and a sales CRM tool.
Adobe Express - Mentioned as a sponsor and a tool for creative design.
Ketone IQ - Mentioned as a sponsor and a product for focus and energy.
Spotify - Mentioned in relation to podcast charts.
National Football League (NFL) - Mentioned in the context of sports analytics.
Pro Football Focus (PFF) - Mentioned as a data source for player grading.
New England Patriots - Mentioned as an example team for performance analysis.
Institute for Family Studies - Mentioned in relation to demographic research.

Websites & Online Resources

chriswillx.com/review - A website where the annual review template is available for free.
YouTube - Mentioned as a platform for Chris Williamson's content.
Instagram - Mentioned as a platform for Chris Williamson's content.
X (formerly Twitter) - Mentioned as a platform for Chris Williamson's content and for discussions about the UK.
Spotify - Mentioned as the platform where podcast charts were released.
TikTok - Mentioned for a viral list about reasons not to have children.
Ebay - Mentioned as a place where a microphone was purchased second-hand.
Whatsapp - Mentioned as a platform for communication.

Other Resources

3 Minute Monday newsletter - Created by Chris Williamson.
The Diary Of A CEO circle - A community for listeners.
The Diary Of A CEO book - Mentioned for purchase.
The 1% Diary - A product from The Diary of a CEO.
The Diary Of A CEO Conversation Cards (Second Edition) - A product from The Diary of a CEO.
Annual Review Template - A tool created by Chris Williamson for self-reflection and planning.
Region Beta Paradox - A concept discussed regarding comfort zones and motivation.
Parable of the Mexican Fisherman - A story used to illustrate the paradox of striving for more.
Deferred Life Hypothesis - The belief that life has not yet begun and is a prelude to the real beginning.
Productivity Dysmorphia - The inability to see one's own success.
Getting Things Done (GTD) - David Allen's productivity strategy.
Type 1 vs. Type 2 Doors - Jeff Bezos's concept for decision-making.
Paradox of Choice - Barry Schwartz's concept about the impact of too many options.
Maximizing vs. Satisficing - Behavioral economics terms related to decision-making thresholds.
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs - Mentioned in the context of existential crises and belonging.
Shame of Small Fears - The modern tendency to feel shame over fears that are not life-threatening.
Agency - The belief in one's ability to impact surroundings, identified as the most important component of human joy and endeavor.
Escape Velocity - An analogy used to describe the energy required for significant change.
Biological Budget of Energy - The concept of a finite energy reserve.
Regression to the Mean - The natural tendency to revert to typical behavior.
Pro-family message - Cultural influences that encourage having children.
Anti-family message - Cultural influences that discourage having children.
K-Pop - Mentioned as a cultural export from South Korea with a narrative that can influence family decisions.
4B's Movement - A movement in South Korea related to women's rights and family.
The Lonely Chapter - A period in personal growth where one outgrows old friendships but hasn't yet formed new ones.
Hero's Journey - A narrative structure often depicted with unwavering conviction, contrasted with the reality of doubt.
Non-Playable Character (NPC) - Used to describe someone who is not actively directing their own life.
Psychological Stability - Emotional resilience and the ability to return to a baseline after perturbation.
Conscientiousness, Agreeableness, Openness to Experience - Personality traits discussed in relation to partner selection.
Safe Harbor - A relationship that provides emotional security and support.
Pro-prandial Walk - A short walk after a meal to help regulate glucose.
Caffeine Timing - The recommendation to delay caffeine intake after waking.
Alcohol Consumption - Discussed in terms of its impact on habits and well-being.
Meditation - Discussed as a practice for mental clarity.
Consistency - A habit-building principle emphasizing not missing two days in a row.
Hustle and Grind - A mentality contrasted with emotional expression and balance.
Stiff Upper Lip - A British cultural trait associated with stoicism and emotional restraint.
Tall Poppy Syndrome - A cultural tendency to criticize or cut down those who are successful.
Stockholm Syndrome for Sad Moments - A cultural tendency to embrace or identify with negative experiences.
The Provisional Life - The belief that one is not yet living their "real" life.
Existential Loneliness - The feeling of isolation that can arise from a lack of connection or purpose.
Insecure Overachievers - A description of Type A individuals with underlying insecurities.
Self-Actualization - The process of realizing one's full potential.
Survival - The primary challenge faced by previous generations, contrasted with modern challenges.
Dopaminergic Transactional - A description of the perceived nature of seeking relaxation.
Parasympathetic Goggins - A hypothetical figure representing the need for rest and relaxation.
Non-Playable Character (NPC) - Used to describe someone who is not actively directing their own life.
The 1 - A philosophy from The Diary of a CEO team for breaking down goals into small steps.