Focus on Behavior's Role and Positive Drivers for Lasting Change

Key Quotes

"why is it that you know depending which research study you read 80 to 90 of new year's resolutions have fallen by the wayside by the start of february right okay and i've got 23 years of clinical experience i've seen tens of thousands of patients so i kind of feel i've got a good steer certainly from my own experience and what i've seen i think there's a few things that people get wrong okay i think they try and make it too big too quickly"

Dr. Rangan Chatterjee observes that a high percentage of New Year's resolutions fail by February, attributing this to people attempting to make changes that are too large or too rapid. He suggests that without a significant life event as a catalyst, overly ambitious resolutions are unlikely to be sustained long-term.

"one thing i don't think people understand enough is that every single behavior in our life serves a role too often we try and change the behavior without understanding the role it plays in our life so i'll give you a really practical example if your alcohol consumption is your way of managing stress right you can white knuckle it for the first two or three weeks say january and you will stop and you will think yeah i've got more energy i'm sleeping better great great great i've no problem with that but if it's your way of managing stress the only way you'll change it in the long term is by one of two things either the amount of stress in your life has to change so then you'll no longer need the alcohol or you need an alternative behavior to alcohol to help you manage the stress"

Dr. Chatterjee explains that behaviors, such as alcohol consumption for stress management, serve a purpose. He argues that lasting change requires either reducing the stressor itself or finding an alternative behavior to fulfill the role the original behavior played. Simply stopping the behavior without addressing its underlying function is unlikely to lead to long-term success.

"i've come to the conclusion that and this is really one of the primary theses in make change that lasts my new book is this idea that it's not necessarily the the behavior you need to focus on it's the energy that it's doing for you why are you doing it and the other way i i look at it for new year's resolutions is all behaviors i believe come from either love or fear right at their core so if you feel bad about who you are you're consuming with guilt and shame and jealousy and envy whatever it might be these are all things that come from the energy of fear if your changes are coming from that kind of energy i don't think they're going to last in the long term"

Dr. Chatterjee posits that the core of lasting change lies not in the behavior itself, but in the underlying energy or motivation behind it. He suggests that behaviors stemming from fear-based emotions like guilt or shame are less sustainable than those rooted in love or a positive self-concept. Therefore, he emphasizes understanding the "why" behind a behavior to achieve long-term transformation.

"i used to have a really negative inner voice i've completely changed that over the years with these kind of intentional practices and now i find behavior change really really simple because i've focused on the underlying energies behind that behavior change and one of the things i try to kind of address in this book ryan is i'm a doctor right so through the lens of health i think we're living in a world where we've got more information than ever before more health podcasts more health books more blogs whatever it might be but why despite all this increase in information and knowledge is it not translating to better health outcomes we know what we should most of us know what we should do or not do exactly"

Dr. Chatterjee shares his personal experience of transforming a negative inner voice through intentional practices, which he states has simplified behavior change for him. He then raises a critical question from his perspective as a doctor: despite an abundance of health information, why is it not leading to better health outcomes, as most people already know what they should be doing.

"so every year for daily stoic we do this thing we call it the daily stoic new year new challenge it's like 21 days of stoic inspired challenges it's different every year but they're just a bunch of cool stoic practices and the idea is like one or two will stick with someone and they'll take it through the year or one will get them to think about something differently but it's funny like we'll start talking about it in early december the first day you announce it a bunch of people sign up second time you announce it a bunch of people sign up and then it it sort of dips and then the it starts on january 1st but like the second biggest sign up day is always like january 2nd so like people want to change like at some level they heard about this they want to change and then what we do i think this is the most insidious part of uh which gets in the way of so much what we're capable of doing is we go okay i'm going to do it tomorrow they go okay that's that starts on january 1st so that's a couple weeks from now so in a couple weeks from now i'll get serious about thinking about signing up and then i'll miss it like which is the stoics talk about about how we know what we need to do but then we say we tell ourselves this huge lie which is like i'll do it in the morning i'll do it after this i'll do it when things calm down by just moving the timeline up a little bit we let ourselves off the hook and then most of us don't do it"

The speaker from The Daily Stoic describes their New Year's challenge, noting a pattern of delayed sign-ups and a common tendency to postpone action. They identify this procrastination, often framed as "I'll do it tomorrow" or "after this," as a significant obstacle that allows people to avoid commitment and ultimately fail to implement desired changes. This self-deception, they explain, is a way of letting oneself off the hook.

"another five minute practice i try and do each day is what my wife and i call the five minute tea ritual like many people if you're not intentional about it you can live in the same house but you get so busy with work and the children and you'll like passing ships right so a few years ago we decided yeah listen yeah life gets busy from time to time but we really need to intentionally focus on our relationship so we have this practice called the five minute tea ritual every night when the kids were younger and we still try and do it now when they've gone to bed before we do anything else we come to the kitchen we make a pot of mint tea so non caffeinated and it's not the rule the practice is that for five minutes we catch up right so it's only five minutes it's it's the requirement so we're just going to ask each other about our days instead of uh we got to get a babysitter we're going to book a restaurant reservation we