Identity Shift: The Prerequisite for Wealth Creation

Key Quotes

"I also believed I sucked at making it, which was the truth. Um, I also had a weird feeling that like, I was, it was almost like a different species. It's almost like me, there's me and then there's grown-ups, right? And I felt that way about money too. Like there's me and there's people who actually make like real money and have big houses and fancy cars and like do stuff. Like, but I was, I was like the child version of that, you know, always sitting at the kid table financially."

Jen Sincero describes a past self-perception where she felt fundamentally separate from those who possessed wealth. The author explains this feeling as being like a "child version" at the "kid table financially," indicating a deep-seated belief in her own inability to attain financial success. This illustrates how a perceived identity can create a barrier to financial growth.

"So when I say I can't afford it, a hundred times a day, I'm subconsciously pulling in proof like, look at the car I'm driving. I'm living in an alley. Like, I make this much money a year. I'm, I'm building all the foundational blocks to prove that I can't afford it. And that becomes my reality and then that becomes my, I like to call it familiarity zone because comfort zones are not comfortable."

Jen Sincero argues that the repeated phrase "I can't afford it" actively seeks out evidence to confirm that belief. The author explains that this constant affirmation builds a "familiarity zone," which she redefines as not truly comfortable but rather a state of proving one's limitations. This highlights how language can shape reality by reinforcing existing beliefs.

"And this is why I'm going to totally go off on a segue here, but this is why like the number one question I get at my talks is, what do you do when the people closest to you don't support your growth? And the main reason they don't support it, because you're killing off the person they love."

Jen Sincero explains that resistance from loved ones during personal growth stems from a perceived loss. The author posits that when an individual changes, they are essentially "killing off" the version of themselves that their close circle is familiar with and comfortable with. This suggests that personal evolution can disrupt the established dynamics within relationships.

"So but my mantras really like and before I started making money, I said, I can't afford it. To pretty much anything you could throw at me. My first words out of my mouth were, I can't afford it. And like, what are we doing when we're, we're saying that? Whether it's true, or not true. We are buying into an identity as somebody who can't afford stuff."

Jen Sincero reflects on her past use of the phrase "I can't afford it" as a consistent mantra before achieving financial success. The author questions the impact of this repeated statement, suggesting that it actively cultivates an identity of someone who is incapable of affording things. This emphasizes the power of self-talk in shaping one's financial identity.