Cultivating Self-Belief Through Acknowledgment, Values, and Support

Key Quotes

"First thing i always say is you got to take yourself back to any time in your past career or even current career and remind yourself of all the things that you're good at all the accomplishments celebrate your wins amen man i'm i'm a tall handsome brown man right you know i'm really good in math i look good in white dress shirts whatever those things are remember i even you're the first person to get your phd before the age of 30 whatever those things are and it's not enough just to tell yourself you got to write it down"

Dr. Ivan Joseph argues that to combat self-doubt, individuals must actively recall and document their past achievements and strengths. He emphasizes that simply acknowledging these accomplishments internally is insufficient; writing them down solidifies them and serves as a tangible reminder of one's capabilities. This practice helps to counteract negative feedback and internalize a stronger sense of self-worth.

"When I took that job as an ad even when as a job as a vice president self doubt comes in there's enough people tell i've never done this before why would i be in this position you only got the job because he's black you only got the job because you're a woman whatever it is there's all people that are going to be coming at you and if you're not careful you'll start to take on those thoughts and then those thoughts will influence your belief system and that belief system will then influence your actions and you'll start messing up and it's this self fulfilling prophecy so stop that thought put something down on paper you'll hear me speak about a self confidence letter or a letter to yourself"

Dr. Ivan Joseph explains that external criticism and internal self-doubt can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. He advises that when faced with such negativity, it is crucial to stop these destructive thoughts and instead create a "self-confidence letter." This letter serves as a personal record of accomplishments and a tool to reinforce a positive belief system, thereby influencing actions toward success.

"I will tell you it's not the statement that really sets you up it's the fact that people then start putting into their psychological mindset steps to move them in that direction whatever those little steps are they stop feeling helpless and unable to affect their own destiny and start moving in the right direction and that's where the impact happens"

Dr. Ivan Joseph highlights that the true power of belief lies not just in the statement itself, but in the subsequent actions it inspires. He posits that when individuals adopt a belief, they begin to take psychological steps, however small, toward achieving their goals. This shift from feeling helpless to actively moving forward is where significant personal impact and progress occur.

"There's two factors I've always seen that derail a young athlete or a young professional's career Number one their self doubt their inability to believe in themselves and interestingly enough number two is the people that they have surrounded themselves with that become distractions that take them away from their goals over and over and over again they fall into the wrong crowd they get with the wrong partner the wrong advice"

Dr. Ivan Joseph identifies two primary factors that can hinder the careers of young athletes or professionals: self-doubt and negative social influences. He explains that an inability to believe in oneself is a significant obstacle, compounded by surrounding oneself with people who distract from or actively undermine one's goals. This can manifest as associating with the wrong crowd, partners, or accepting poor advice.

"I don't know if it's your crap detector or your holy smoke detector there's no science behind this but at any time I don't listen to that voice when I fall off my values and my principles I go south it's cost me money it's cost me friendships it's cost me opportunities"

Dr. Ivan Joseph describes an internal "voice" or intuition that guides individuals, suggesting it is linked to their values and principles. He states that ignoring this inner guidance, even without scientific explanation, leads to actions that deviate from one's core beliefs. This deviation, he notes, has consistently resulted in negative consequences, including financial loss, damaged friendships, and missed opportunities.

"You saw it when you start asking yourselves these questions what's the most important decision you made in work what's the most important decision you've made in your family what's the most important decision you did for yourself right what's the most important decision you make when taking on a conflict that's the exercise i do it helps me to your values to help me find my north stars"

Dr. Ivan Joseph proposes an exercise to identify core values by reflecting on significant decisions made across different areas of life, such as work, family, personal well-being, and conflict resolution. He explains that by examining the underlying reasons for these pivotal choices, individuals can uncover their fundamental values, which then serve as their guiding "north stars." This process helps to clarify personal direction and decision-making.