Recipe Gravestones and Culinary Therapy Facilitate Grief Healing

Key Quotes

"at this point there are at least 18 recipe gravestones around the world one of my favorites is in nome alaska it's a cool grave just in terms of its shape because it's like a mini obelisk and there are different designs and inscriptions on each side of the obelisk and one of those sides has a recipe for a no bake chocolate oatmeal cookie and at the very bottom it's got an engraving of a cool whip container"

Sam O'Brien highlights the existence of at least 18 recipe gravestones globally, detailing a specific example in Nome, Alaska. This gravestone features a recipe for no-bake chocolate oatmeal cookies and an engraving of a Cool Whip container, illustrating the unique and personal nature of these memorials. O'Brien's description emphasizes the unexpected combination of a recipe and a specific brand, suggesting a deep personal connection to both.

"basically when bonnie was raising her family she had four kids this is in like the 60s 70s 80s alaska it's still very much the frontier um so most of their shelf stable groceries came via barge and that barge stopped coming over the winter so you'd get like your last supply of those bulk groceries in september and you had to stretch those"

Sam O'Brien explains the practical context behind the chosen recipe for Bonnie Johnson's gravestone. O'Brien notes that during the 1960s-1980s in Alaska, shelf-stable groceries were crucial due to limited winter deliveries. This detail clarifies why a recipe relying on such ingredients would be significant and enduring for a family in that environment.

"she was from washington state but sort of just packed up her whole life and and moved to alaska she just drove there in a station wagon in about 1957 and this is before alaska was even a state so she she moves there she gets to see alaska become a state she attends the big parade and eisenhower is there so she's lived a pretty storied life"

Sam O'Brien recounts Bonnie Johnson's adventurous life, emphasizing her move to Alaska in 1957 before it became a state. O'Brien highlights Johnson's experience of witnessing Alaska's statehood and attending a parade with President Eisenhower. This narrative paints a picture of Bonnie as a pioneering individual who lived through significant historical moments.

"i've always been very interested in the role food plays in grieving and particularly when it comes to recipe gravestones it's more than novelty so i wanted to to see if anyone sort of exploring that on a more like clinical level on a more psychological level and there is someone her name is heather nickrand and she's a bereavement coordinator and a social worker in illinois and she started a super cool program it's called the culinary grief therapy program"

Sam O'Brien introduces Heather Nickrand and her Culinary Grief Therapy Program, framing it as a clinical and psychological exploration of food's role in grieving. O'Brien suggests that recipe gravestones are more than just novelties, prompting the investigation into therapeutic applications of food in the context of loss. This sets the stage for discussing how cooking and shared meals can aid in the healing process.

"usually people say to me that must be so depressing and sometimes it is but it's on the whole not when you talk to family members like they're filled with love you know it's terrifying and scary but it's an opportunity to to celebrate life even at the time of death and and shortly after and that's one of the things that the program does is it's actually a program that they have at the end of the course is called celebrating life with food"

The speaker, identified as a hospice volunteer, describes their experience as not entirely depressing, but rather an opportunity to celebrate life even during times of death. The volunteer explains that the Culinary Grief Therapy Program culminates in an event called "Celebrating Life with Food." This event allows participants to focus on the love and positive memories associated with deceased loved ones through shared food experiences.

"the cookies go back several generations like her mother would wake up on her family's farm in iowa every christmas morning and she would go downstairs to the christmas tree and they would hang the cookies from the christmas tree and that was the way she grew up every christmas and then when she had her own kids they would make the christmas cookies every christmas and so every christmas it would be maxine's parents her kids all crowded into the kitchen rolling dough baking cutting them into different shapes"

Jane, the daughter of Maxine Menster, describes a cherished family tradition involving Christmas cookies. Jane explains that her mother's mother would hang these cookies on the Christmas tree, a practice that continued with Maxine and her own children. This generational ritual of making Christmas cookies highlights the deep connection between the recipe, family traditions, and enduring memories.