Cultivating Altruism: Intuitive Giving, Not Extraordinary Sacrifice

Key Quotes

"Many many details of the evening haunt me but the biggest one is that i think i would have died if it hadn't been for the actions of this stranger who made a split second decision to try to save my life many years ago as she was driving home late one night this happened as i was crossing an overpass into the city a little dog a little orangish dog ran right out into the freeway in front of my car and i did i think what many people instinctively do which is swerve to try to avoid it and that sent my car into first a fishtail and then a spin across the lanes of freeway traffic miraculously not hitting anybody until my car came to rest in the fast lane of the freeway facing backward into the oncoming traffic and the engine died"

Abigail Marsh recounts a near-fatal car accident where a stranger's quick actions saved her life. This personal experience deeply impacted Marsh, leading her to dedicate her career to understanding the motivations behind altruistic behavior. The vivid details of the event highlight the profound influence of a single, selfless act.

"Altruism is generally defined in psychology as a behavior that helps somebody and that was the intention of the behavior you help somebody specifically because you wanted to help them not for some underlying reason like when you help someone pick up their groceries after their bag breaks in the parking lot or when you see a person struggling to open a door you know little acts of kindness and everyday gestures that you may not think twice about doing those are great keep it up but for abigail and her work as a researcher she's interested in the overachievers an altruistic person or an altruist is somebody who habitually does i would say more altruistic things than the average person"

Abigail Marsh distinguishes between everyday acts of kindness and true altruism, which she defines as intentional behavior to help others. Marsh's research focuses on "overachievers" in altruism, individuals who consistently perform more altruistic acts than the average person. This definition sets the stage for exploring the characteristics of those who go above and beyond.

"The main one of which and i know this will be a totally shocking statement is that they're all less selfish none of them are people and i think a lot of people assume that they just they're sort of all puffed up with moral virtue and it's like the opposite genuinely altruistic people are very humble and it turns out that humility and being unselfish go hand in hand because if you think that you're the most special person around why would you want to help less special people you know the special person should get all the stuff and the less special people should not and so truly altruistic people do not think of themselves as special"

Abigail Marsh argues that a key trait of genuinely altruistic individuals is a lack of selfishness, which is often accompanied by humility. Marsh explains that this humility stems from not viewing oneself as inherently more special than others. This challenges the common perception of altruists as self-righteous, suggesting instead that their actions are rooted in a sense of shared humanity.

"Abigail and her team also learned that in addition to being less selfish they tend to have more positive views of people which makes sense right because if you think everyone stinks why would you want to help them"

Abigail Marsh's research indicates that altruistic individuals, beyond being less selfish, generally hold more positive perceptions of others. Marsh posits that this optimistic outlook on humanity is a logical precursor to wanting to help people. This finding suggests that a fundamental belief in the goodness of others underpins altruistic behavior.

"Abigail marsh says the easiest way to be more altruistic more giving whether it's of your time or money is just start start with something that seems easy for you that does seem intuitive whether that's just like picking up trash in your neighborhood or you know getting changed to a stranger who asks for it or whatever"

Abigail Marsh advises that the simplest path to becoming more altruistic is to begin with small, intuitive acts of giving. Marsh suggests starting with easy actions, such as picking up litter or helping someone with change, as a way to build the "muscle" of altruism. This approach makes developing generosity accessible and manageable for everyone.

"The trick with altruism is that it is a little bit individualized some people are left very cold by the idea of sending money to strangers on the other side of the world that they'll never see they're not people in their community they don't feel a connection to them and so it's just important to remember that the same kind of helping and generosity isn't going to do it for everybody it's just like exercise right people always say what's the best kind of exercise i should do for longevity or health or whatever and everybody will always tell you whatever you like you just do something you'll stick with right"

Abigail Marsh emphasizes that altruism is individualized, meaning that what motivates one person to give may not resonate with another. Marsh uses the analogy of exercise, stating that the most effective form of giving is one that an individual enjoys and will consistently engage in. This highlights the importance of finding personally meaningful ways to contribute.

"The idea is that if you want to do something that's consistent with your values the more precisely you can sort of plot out the where when why how the more likely you are to actually act in a way that you want to act in other words and stay with me here commit to the bit make the commitment"

Abigail Marsh introduces the concept of "implementation intentions," which are specific plans detailing when, where, and how an action will be performed. Marsh explains that by precisely plotting out these details, individuals significantly increase their likelihood of acting in accordance with their values. This scientific approach to planning is presented as a powerful tool for translating intentions into actions.

"Even just like putting your phone away and being fully engaged in the world around you if somebody's lost you can help them give them directions you can just smile maybe compliment a passerby i mean these are all little things that are so easy for all of us to do but will you know change the opinion of each person that you interact with just a little bit in terms of thinking that other people are maybe a little nicer than you realized"

The podcast highlights that even small, everyday interactions can have a significant impact on social trust and community well-being. By putting away phones and engaging with the world, individuals can offer simple gestures like smiling or giving directions. These seemingly minor acts can subtly shift people's perceptions of others, fostering a more positive social environment.