Building Human Connection as a Strategy for Influence

The most effective way to improve education is not by updating a curriculum or changing policy, but by building human connections. Rita Pierson spent decades proving a simple truth: technical teaching skills mean nothing without a foundation of trust. While institutions often focus on metrics like attendance or poverty rates, they ignore the hidden variable of student-teacher rapport. For leaders in any field, the lesson is clear: you must build influence before you can have an impact. Those who act as a champion for others, refusing to give up on them, create a cycle where self-esteem and performance grow together. This is not just a nice idea; it is the primary way to unlock human potential.

The hidden cost of the just teach mindset

In both education and business, there is a temptation to separate the delivery of a service from the human connection needed to make it work. A colleague once told Pierson, "They do not pay me to like the kids. They pay me to teach a lesson." This is a systems failure. It focuses on the immediate output of the lesson while ignoring the environment where the student receives it.

When the teacher-student relationship is treated as optional, the system meets resistance. Students who do not feel valued often tune out the information being presented. Pierson’s experience shows that this is not about personality, but about professional strategy. The just teach approach makes for a long, difficult year for the educator. It is a classic example of how ignoring a foundational requirement creates unnecessary friction that builds up over time.

"Kids do not learn from people they do not like."

-- Rita Pierson

The feedback loop of self-esteem and achievement

Pierson’s approach to grading shows how to rewire a student’s internal feedback loop. When a student misses 18 out of 20 questions, a standard system marks the paper with a -18, which reinforces failure. Pierson’s +2 intervention does something different: it validates the effort and provides a starting point for improvement.

This shifts the system incentives. By focusing on the +2 rather than the -18, she keeps the student engaged. The student’s reaction, "I can do better," confirms that the intervention changed their internal narrative from one of failure to one of potential. This requires the educator to do the difficult work of finding value in the middle of a mistake, which takes more patience than most people have.

"Minus 18 sucks all the life out of you. Plus two said I ain't all bad."

-- Rita Pierson

The strategic necessity of acting

Systemic thinking often requires you to act in ways that feel counterintuitive to your immediate mood. Pierson notes that educators will not, and cannot, like every student. The difficult students are often the most demanding and the least rewarding in the short term. However, the system requires the educator to maintain the appearance of belief regardless of personal feelings.

This is where the actor metaphor becomes a professional necessity. By consistently showing up and insisting on the student’s potential, the educator creates a stable environment that allows for growth. The payoff is not immediate; it is a legacy of relationships that lasts long after the specific lesson is forgotten. This is a competitive advantage in a field prone to burnout: the ability to maintain a supportive stance even when the system provides no immediate reward.

Key action items

• Audit your relationship-to-transaction ratio: Over the next quarter, evaluate whether your interactions are purely transactional. If you are only delivering information without building connection, expect lower retention and higher resistance.
• Implement plus two feedback: In your next review or performance cycle, identify the smallest possible success in a failing project. Highlight that success before addressing the errors to prevent the effect of draining someone's motivation.
• Practice seeking first to understand: Before correcting or critiquing, apply the principle of seeking to understand the other person’s perspective. This reduces defensive feedback loops.
• Adopt the champion framework: Identify the individuals in your orbit who are currently struggling the most. Commit to being the person who refuses to give up on them for the next 12 to 18 months.
• Normalize the apology: When you make a mistake in a lesson, a meeting, or a decision, admit it explicitly and quickly. This builds trust and signals that the environment is safe for risk-taking.
• Act the part: Recognize that your emotional state is not a valid excuse for poor leadership. On days when you do not feel like connecting, perform the role of the advocate anyway. This pays off in long-term team loyalty.