Toxic Adult Culture Undermines Youth Arts Programs Through Gatekeeping

Key Quotes

"i thought this was a group to come learn from and ask for advice and get support from the band community the last several posts i've read have been innocent questions asking for advice and the op has been essentially attacked for asking the questions can we please remember that number one we are all people just trying to figure stuff out can we please treat each other with respect and kindness number two read the post all the way before commenting and attacking the op for something unrelated to their question and number three we don't all come from big bands or boa bands so we all have different experiences if your experience doesn't apply to the question then keep scrolling you don't have to comment on every post"

This quote, from a post within a national band parent group, highlights a breakdown in community support. The author argues that innocent questions are being met with attacks, suggesting a need for more respect, kindness, and careful reading before responding. Mike DeJohn uses this to illustrate how a space meant for learning and support is becoming toxic.

"when parents are scared to attach their names to a plea for kindness i think that tells you the culture already has edge sharp enough to cut someone and that's a problem"

Mike DeJohn points out that the anonymity of the original post seeking kindness is a significant indicator of a negative culture. He argues that when individuals feel unsafe expressing basic needs for respect, the environment has become hostile. This observation underscores the severity of the issue beyond a single incident.

"there aren't just mean girls and victims there's retaliation there's insecurity there's burnout there's hierarchy there's fear there's veteran status that's turned into social currency and all of it blends together into something that feels a lot like high school but with much higher stakes"

Mike DeJohn explains that the "Dance Mom" energy observed in adult spaces is not simply about individual maliciousness. He argues that it is a complex blend of adult insecurities, burnout, and the misuse of experience as social currency. This creates a dynamic that mirrors high school social hierarchies but with more significant consequences.

"the kids do not cause these problems we do the adults do kids don't create cliques and booster groups they don't shame other parents for not knowing terminology they don't jump on strangers online for asking beginner questions kids don't create us versus them and kids don't weaponize experience those are things that adults do"

Mike DeJohn asserts that adults are the primary source of toxic culture in youth arts programs, not the children involved. He argues that behaviors like creating cliques, shaming, and exclusion are modeled by adults and then imitated by children. This emphasizes the responsibility adults hold in shaping program dynamics.

"strong programs don't protect information they pass it down"

Mike DeJohn presents this as a core principle for healthy programs. He argues that successful programs thrive by sharing knowledge and experience, rather than hoarding it for social status. This contrasts with gatekeeping behavior, which he identifies as detrimental to growth and community.

"you don't grow programs by flexing what you know you grow them by making other people feel safe to learn"

Mike DeJohn concludes by emphasizing that true program growth comes from fostering an inclusive and safe learning environment. He argues against using one's own knowledge or experience as a means of asserting superiority. Instead, he advocates for welcoming newcomers and creating opportunities for them to learn and contribute.