Discipline as Self-Love: Action-Based Goals Foster Lasting Change

Key Quotes

"I think discipline if used correctly is possibly the greatest form of self love because you don't have to have any discipline to do something that's not good for you... I'm going to become a more disciplined person because I love myself so much."

Rob Dial reframes discipline not as a punishment, but as an act of self-respect and self-love. He argues that the actions requiring discipline are typically those that benefit one's future self, making the practice of discipline a profound expression of self-care.

"Most people are focused on the result based goal which is when I lose 40 pounds then I will have hit my goal that is a result you still set the result based goal but then what you do is you create something that's called daily action based goals as long as I get these things done every single day it is a success."

Rob Dial introduces the concept of shifting focus from outcome-based goals to daily action-based goals. He explains that success should be measured by completing daily tasks, not solely by achieving the final result, which helps in building consistent habits.

"If you want to do something it's easier to make the start of it as short as you possibly can... if it takes more than 15 seconds to do it a lot of times we won't do it so if it's like I'm going to shrink the start of making myself go for a run in the morning..."

Rob Dial suggests "shrinking the start" of any desired action to overcome human resistance to change. By minimizing the initial effort required, such as preparing running clothes the night before, it becomes easier to initiate and maintain the habit.

"Purpose is a lot more about collecting and connecting than it is finding and discovering... it was all these psychology and I you know sales was just the kind of the vehicle to make me learn psychology then I started managing people and realizing like how much people hold themselves back..."

Jay Shetty explains that purpose is often developed through a process of accumulating diverse skills and experiences, which then connect over time. He uses his own journey, starting in sales and moving into management, as an example of how seemingly unrelated activities can build towards a larger purpose.

"Anytime you're really not doing something that you want to do there's usually some sort of fear that's behind it and usually the fears that we have in our future comes from pain that we have in our past and if you can understand that what my brain is doing is it is projecting itself into the future and thinking of all of the things that could go wrong as a protection mechanism from something that I'm triggered that I haven't healed from my past..."

Rob Dial identifies fear rooted in past pain as a primary reason people talk themselves out of pursuing their passions. He explains that the brain projects potential future negative outcomes as a defense mechanism against unresolved past traumas.

"The people who are the most successful in the world are people who have fallen in love with the process not the end result... he created a dopamine reward system that got him addicted to the process and when you're addicted to the process the end result is going to be way better."

Rob Dial emphasizes that true success comes from developing a love for the process of working towards a goal, rather than solely focusing on the end result. He illustrates this with Kobe Bryant's dedication to his training regimen, suggesting that this dedication creates a "dopamine reward system" that fosters addiction to the process itself.

"The problem with that is this is most of the time you'll go to the gym you'll work out then you'll come back you work out two weeks you take a shower and you're like ah still not there yet right and people will actually make themselves start to feel bad about not being at the destination that they want to get to the problem with that is that our brains are addicted to dopamine..."

Rob Dial explains that focusing solely on long-term results, like losing 40 pounds, can be demotivating because the brain craves immediate rewards. He suggests that by setting daily action-based goals and celebrating small wins, one can create a dopamine reward system that makes the process more engaging and sustainable.

"The reason you didn't pursue a music career is because you didn't feel you had the competence to make it a career beyond it being meaningful and thoughtful and same with me I love soccer it's my first love but I'm just not competent enough to be a professional soccer player..."

Jay Shetty highlights the importance of competence alongside passion and purpose. He uses his own and Rob Dial's experiences with music and soccer, respectively, to illustrate that while passion is crucial, a lack of perceived competence can be a barrier to pursuing certain paths professionally.