Embracing Vulnerability and Bodily Autonomy for Self-Acceptance

Key Quotes

"there were two types of shame and one is the toxic shame which remains in you for no apparent reason just the fact that you have it and it sits there and the other one is you feel ashamed of something you've done and the second one is easier to deal with because you can go that was stupid and say sorry and decision but there's a this is this other weird shame that hangs in you yeah just because you exist yep"

Charlie Mackesy explains that toxic shame, which is felt simply for existing, is more difficult to overcome than shame stemming from a specific action. Mackesy highlights that this pervasive shame thrives in isolation, making individuals feel like they are the sole problem.

"shame keeps you silent but there's no shame in talking or asking for help it was something like that and the words hadn't but you know i remember someone saying oh you know shame has its uses and i just took it took it down but i think the moment you start talking about it is the moment people engage with it and they go oh i'm not alone then yeah and i think it's the it's the feeling of it's just you there's a deeply lonely feeling that that but the moment you go oh you do that as well you feel that oh my god me too okay so so there's hope then"

Charlie Mackesy suggests that speaking openly about shame, rather than remaining silent, is crucial for connection and overcoming its isolating effects. Mackesy notes that sharing these feelings can reveal a shared human experience, offering hope and a sense of not being alone.

"my higher power has done for me what i wasn't willing to do for myself and at the time at the when that's happening i get very disturbed by like what's going on around me like when i ended up when they shut that prison door on me i was like wow like how did i end up here you know in your mind you're like i didn't see this for myself or maybe i did but like i'm a good person like i i've i'm not meant to be in this situation but actually where i was outside of prison i wasn't meant to be and i wasn't willing to step away from loyalty from friends from brotherhood from some toxic sort of masculinity that was going on like i wasn't willing to step away from it because i wasn't strong enough and i was fearful of what the other side would be like or whatever so my higher power took it away from me"

Ashley Walters describes a moment where a higher power intervened to remove him from a destructive situation that he was unwilling to leave himself due to fear and loyalty. Walters reflects that his own strength was insufficient to detach from toxic influences, necessitating external intervention to facilitate personal change.

"i also think what ashley was saying around sort of like victim mentality is huge because yes we need to feel our feelings and sometimes that might mean there's a sense of injustice there or that there's wrong doing from another person but that period has to end at some point you can't live in that forever as tempting as it is and i definitely lived in a victim state for too long like i reached an expiration date and i didn't get the hint and i think now i look back i'm like oh i wish i'd recognized that in myself earlier because it doesn't doesn't help you it doesn't benefit you in any way you just sort of stay trapped in it"

Fearne Cotton emphasizes the importance of moving beyond a victim mentality, even when experiencing injustice or wrongdoing. Cotton shares her own experience of remaining in a victim state for too long, recognizing that it is ultimately unhelpful and traps individuals.

"i am not afraid of dying anymore and it was the biggest journey of my life from august 23 to november 24 was an amazing time where something changed and begin again the podcast i started to help other people on their journey of living a life that they love enough to feel on their deathbed whenever that may be that i have no regrets yeah i have lived the life i wanted and i don't i'm not lying there going i wish i'd done that thing or i wish i'd done that job or i wish i'd not stayed in this relationship i wish i'd you know all of those i haven't lived the life i want and begin again is about just begin again yeah and live the life you want"

Davina McCall states that she is no longer afraid of dying, having undergone a significant personal transformation that led her to live a life without regrets. McCall explains that her podcast, "Begin Again," is dedicated to helping others achieve a similar state of living fully and authentically.

"i also saw that there were some people who were criticizing me for wearing a headscarf because they thought that i was not liberal enough or i was not fully free if i was still following my culture and my tradition and i disagreed with all of those opinions because everybody was trying to control the way i dressed but you know the message that we are promoting those of us who are talking about women's freedom and liberty is that women should be able to make these choices for themselves and freedom and liberation is not following just the western culture but like it can look different in every culture it's about women and girls having the ability to make choices for themselves that's the most important thing right"

Malala Yousafzai asserts that women's freedom and liberation are defined by their ability to make personal choices, regardless of cultural context, and that external control over dress or tradition is a form of oppression. Yousafzai recounts criticism for both wearing jeans and a headscarf, highlighting the contradictory and controlling expectations placed upon women.