Trauma-Informed Comedy: Resilience, Identity, and Unexpected Success

Deep Dive

The conversation begins with Joanne McNally reflecting on her early life and the complexities of being adopted. She describes a feeling of being "spat out of a spaceship naked," lacking context for her own identity, despite a happy upbringing. This initial feeling, she explains, led to an "identity crisis of sorts" later in life, a theme she notes is shared by other adopted comedians who may feel a need for validation. McNally recounts childhood experiences where she used her adoption as a storytelling device, fabricating dramatic origins like plane crashes to make herself seem more interesting, a tactic she found amusing at the time.

The discussion then shifts to McNally's personal history with an eating disorder. She explains that the disorder became severe in her thirties, impacting her ability to work and forcing her to move back with her mother. The recovery process became her "full-time gig," a challenging period where she acknowledges the disorder "completely takes over your mind." McNally suggests that the severity of her illness was, in a way, a blessing, as it forced her to confront it directly rather than letting it remain a hidden struggle. She reflects that without this experience, she likely wouldn't be where she is today, highlighting the transformative power of overcoming such adversity.

McNally then details her career transition from public relations to comedy. She initiated this shift by writing a blog called "eat the pastry," which eventually led to a newspaper column. Subsequently, she was cast in a play called "Singlehood," where she met a comedian who encouraged her to try stand-up. She recounts her first stand-up performance in 2018, describing the nerves but also the sense of release that came with being open about her experiences, particularly her eating disorder. She notes that the play, which explored love lives, was a catalyst, as she had previously used relationships as a way to cope with her illness.

The conversation moves to McNally's views on relationships and marriage. She admits to falling "insane" in intense relationships in the past, characterized by drama and frequent breakups, attributing this partly to a dopamine-seeking tendency common in ADHD. However, she states she has since experienced more stable relationships, indicating personal growth. McNally expresses a current disinterest in marriage, though she is open to finding love. She also touches upon the societal pressure on women to have children, stating she would consider adoption or even a platonic co-parenting arrangement.

McNally shares her experiences with dating apps, specifically Hinge, describing it as an attempt to re-enter the dating scene. She discusses her "type," emphasizing the importance of humor and a touch of "trauma" or "wounds" in a partner, while also noting a preference for men who acknowledge her identity as a public figure. She humorously recounts a date where the man pretended not to know her, which she initially found off-putting but later realized was a test of his character. She also shares a story about a one-night stand where the man wore his coat the entire time, highlighting unusual dating experiences.

The podcast touches upon the unexpected success of McNally's podcast, "My Therapist Ghosted Me." She explains it originated from a casual video with her friend Vogue Williams, which viewers enjoyed, leading to the podcast idea. The timing, coinciding with the end of COVID-19 lockdowns, proved fortuitous, as people were eager for entertainment. McNally observes that the podcast's popularity has influenced her live shows, with audience members attending specifically because of the podcast.

McNally discusses the role of her Irish identity in her comedy career. She believes Irish comedians benefit from a strong cultural reputation for humor, making them readily accepted by audiences. She notes that her accent often creates an immediate sense of comfort and trust with listeners.

A significant portion of the conversation revisits the topic of McNally's therapist "ghosting" her. She recounts how her therapist, Sam, stopped responding during lockdown, leading her to fear something had happened to him. After eventually receiving a referral from him, she realized he had simply ended their professional relationship. This experience, combined with a chance remark from a producer, led to the podcast being named "My Therapist Ghosted Me." McNally humorously recounts a public poster campaign for the podcast that, due to a printing error, displayed her name alongside the word "Rapist" instead of "Therapist," a bizarre incident she found both alarming and amusing.

Finally, McNally reflects on her personal growth, particularly her increased self-awareness and independence. She acknowledges that while she once sought external validation, she now feels more self-assured and financially independent. She expresses a love for laughing and a tendency to find humor in most situations, even calling herself a "cheap laugh." She also shares her favorite swear words, finding power in using words like "cunt" due to their taboo nature.