Mika's Resilience: Turning Adversity and Embarrassment Into Art

Key Quotes

"Every single thing that was important in my life is associated with embarrassment. Get out of here. Of course. I mean, your first kiss, isn't that a moment of embarrassment as well? Afterwards, you just, yikes, you're crumbling inside. I remember the first time I lost my virginity. Yeah. Embarrassment. It was the most embarrassing thing."

Mika argues that many significant life events, even positive ones like a first kiss or sexual experience, are often accompanied by embarrassment. The author highlights that this feeling is a common human reaction, suggesting that the initial awkwardness or perceived imperfection of these moments can be deeply felt. Mika's reflection indicates that embarrassment is not necessarily a negative emotion to be avoided but a natural part of experiencing important life milestones.

"I was 12 years old. My mother used to make me, I would write songs at my, at my white piano, and then my mother bought me a mini-disc machine. I remember that. Right. And also I had lots of little Walkmans and stuff and a mini-disc machine. And she was like, 'Now, if I bought you this mini-disc machine, you have to make demos.' So of course I went and I would record my songs on the mini-disc machine. And then she'd say, 'Alright, now we're going to put, transfer that to tape.' So I would transfer it to a cassette. And then she's like, 'Now you're going to draw some nice, you know, write your name, prop Mika, because that was my name.' Yeah, my real name, well, my other real name. And she said, 'Alright, now I'm going to drive you in the white Toyota Previa, and we're going to go to Warner Music off High Street Ken.'"

Mika recounts his mother's proactive and persistent efforts to promote his music from a young age. The author details how his mother would facilitate the recording and transfer of his songs, even taking him out of school to visit record labels. Mika's story illustrates his mother's dedication to his musical aspirations, showcasing a significant parental investment in his dreams.

"I was expelled because unfortunately, I had a very bad teacher. Okay. And I know that's what all the kids say. Yeah. This is what I, okay, the teacher, right? Um, and I was expelled because this bad teacher used to do really bad things to us. And, um, and not just to me, but she had, she chose her kind of the, the kids that would be, that would get the wrath, the most of the wrath every year. And I happened to be one of those kids in that year. And there was, there was two others. And there was, there was very strange things. I mean, like what? Like, uh, I, I, she used to public humiliation. Um, writing poems about, she would find out something had happened, something embarrassing. She would write poems about it, and she would put the poem up, and everyone had to recite it together. No, to the kid. Making me and making me stand on my chair for hours in front of everyone. And if you had to go to the toilet, well, tough shit, you'd, you'd pee there. I mean, that's worse than bad. Yeah, it was bad. Very, very bad things."

Mika describes a traumatic experience with a teacher who subjected him to severe bullying and public humiliation. The author details the teacher's methods, including writing poems about students' embarrassing moments and forcing them to recite them, as well as prolonged punishment like standing on chairs for hours. Mika's account highlights the profound negative impact of this teacher's actions, which led to his expulsion and a significant emotional shutdown.

"And, and I just remember in the midst of all this, I remember one thing. My mother used to put on vinyl records, and we would dance, and we would dance and dance. We would dance to Joni Mitchell, we would dance to Nirvana, we would dance to Bruce Springsteen, and, and this French singer, George Moustaki, and Charles Trenet, and we would, you know, do can-cans or whatever the hell we would do, and we would dance. And so, after that, we moved. When my dad came back, he had, he was a different person. He had a beard. He was emaciated. We stopped calling him Dad like that. We called him Mike because he wasn't Dad anymore. And then everything kind of fell apart. We lost everything. We lost our house. We lost stuff, which was just stuff, but that stuff changes things."

Mika reflects on his family's tumultuous period, including his father's experience as a hostage and their subsequent loss of possessions and home. The author contrasts the family's difficult circumstances with his mother's efforts to maintain a sense of normalcy and joy through music and dancing. Mika's narrative illustrates how music served as a source of comfort and connection during a time of significant upheaval and loss.

"When I lost my mother, it felt like losing my compass."

Mika uses a powerful metaphor to describe the profound impact of his mother's death. The author explains that losing his mother felt like losing his sense of direction or guidance. Mika's statement conveys the deep emotional void and disorientation that can follow the loss of a primary caregiver or guiding figure in one's life.

"The piano became my safest place. Yes. What do you mean by that? Well, the piano became this, this kind of like thing where you can make, no one, I didn't have to ask for permission to make something. It didn't cost any money. Even the, the piano itself, the physical thing, was something that we got because when they came to take all our stuff in that apartment that we lost in, in, in France before we left, um, the, the bailiffs came, and, and the only thing they didn't take was the piano because it was a rental."

Mika describes the piano as his sanctuary, a place where he could create without needing permission and without incurring costs. The author explains that this piano held particular significance because it was the only possession his family was able to keep during a period of financial hardship. Mika's account highlights how the piano provided a stable and accessible outlet for his creativity and emotional expression during challenging times.