Change as Revelation Accelerates Self-Transformation and Unlocks Potential

Key Quotes

"One thing we know from behavioral science is that opportunity shapes outcomes. That's why I'm so happy to tell you about Girls Inc. They're the leading experts on girls and they're dedicated to helping them develop their inherent strengths and abilities, uncover new ones, and tell the world about their potential. Girls Inc. creates enriching experiences that build real confidence and skills, the kind that helps girls navigate change and step boldly into their futures. Girls are full of potential and Girls Inc. gives them the opportunities to unlock it. To learn more, visit girlsinc.org."

The author highlights that external factors, specifically opportunity, significantly influence what individuals can achieve. This idea is used to introduce Girls Inc., an organization that provides opportunities for girls to develop their strengths and navigate future challenges. The author emphasizes that Girls Inc. helps unlock the inherent potential within girls.

"As our lives veer off course, it can feel like time is dividing into a before and an after."

Maya Shankar explains that significant life disruptions create a distinct temporal divide. This "before and after" feeling signifies a profound shift in one's personal timeline due to unforeseen events. The author uses this to frame the transformative nature of major life changes.

"Psychologists call this the illusion of control. When a bad thing happens unexpectedly, it can shatter that illusion."

Maya Shankar introduces the psychological concept of the illusion of control, which is the tendency to overestimate one's influence on events. She explains that unexpected negative events can dismantle this illusion, leading to disorientation. This concept is central to understanding how individuals cope with loss of control during life changes.

"Research shows that we greatly underestimate how much we will change in the future, even though we fully acknowledge that we've changed considerably in the past. This bias is known as the end of history illusion, a term coined by the psychologist Dan Gilbert and his co-authors."

Maya Shankar discusses the "end of history illusion," a cognitive bias where people underestimate their future personal growth. She notes that while individuals recognize past changes, they tend to view their present selves as final. This bias is relevant to how people anticipate and react to major life disruptions.

"A negative change can feel like an apocalypse, as if the world we knew has now been destroyed. But apocalypse comes from the Greek word apokalypsis, which actually means revelation. This etymology is instructive. Change cannot end us, but it can also reveal things to us."

Maya Shankar reinterprets the concept of "apocalypse" by referencing its Greek origin, meaning "revelation." She suggests that negative changes, while feeling destructive, can actually serve as opportunities for self-discovery. The author proposes viewing difficult moments as chances for reimagining oneself.

"If, like Olivia, they're experiencing second-order denial, they will accept the basic facts of their situation but deny the implications of those facts. They might minimize the seriousness of what is happening or project an overly optimistic view of the path ahead."

Maya Shankar defines second-order denial as the acceptance of factual events but the rejection of their consequences. She explains that individuals employing this form of denial may downplay the severity of their situation or maintain an unrealistically positive outlook. This concept is illustrated through Olivia's experience after her stroke.